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Bunny and Monkey in Scarborough - Day One


Bunny and Friends

By Hippity
August 31 2006

Hippity has sent in a bunn-e-mail from his holidays in Scarborough. He and Bananarama Monkey-Face (a Yorkshire monkey) are enjoying a late summer break. Ahead of our eye-witness reports from the returning turkeys, this piece provides some fascinating insight from a root and branch perspective. They seek him here, they seek him there, they seek that bunny everywhere

 

Scarborough itself

 

It’s a nice enough seaside town, is Scarborough.  Lots of older people and not a lot for a young bunny and monkey to do, to be honest.  Bananarama Monkey-Face comes from Pickering originally, which is just up the road, but he says all his friends have moved on now so we didn’t go there.

 

Not really our sort of food in Scarborough, either. Lots of fish and chips and that sort of thing.  Whereas I favour crunchy salad and Monkey-face likes fruit salad and soft leaves. 

 

We visited the Scalby Ness Rocks on our way to the ground.  Monkey-Face pronounces that “scabbiness”, but I think he’s joking.  I went quite close to the edge, until Monkey-Face told me that bits of Scarborough fall into the sea without warning.  I kept my distance after that.

 

 

Morning

 

Monkey-face and I always argue but it’s not fall-out arguing, you know, we just like a good bicker.  Our first argument was about where to sit.  I prefer a ground-level view whereas Monkey-face prefers some elevation.  We usually end-up mixing and matching a bit but we started the day in a nearby tree (Monkey-face’s choice).  He was pleased that Yorkshire won the toss and bowled.  Monkey-face was grinning like a chimpanzee when we were 39/3 with Hutton, Compton and Shah all gone.  All fell to Kruis.  Monkey-Face  pronounces that name “creche” and I don’t think he’s joking this time, although I can see why he might be called crèche.  I wouldn’t want to leave my children with him, either.

 

But Monkey-Face was laughing the other side of his face when we were still only 3 down as lunch approached.  Smith and Styris my heroes for the morning.  I hopped on my branch when we reached 111/3.  “You might be hopping for an hour or so, bunny-friend” said Monkey-face.  “It’s lunch.  Hop till you drop”.

 

 

Afternoon

 

I’m not too sure about the protocol when the score is 111/3 at lunch.  Are you supposed to hop all the while?  Anyway, I couldn’t and didn’t and perhaps that did for Smith who fell just a few minutes after lunch.  We wandered round for a while taking in the views and the crowd and the atmosphere.  We saw the Turkeys all gathered in one place. 

 

I explained to Monkey-Face that they are called the Turkeys because they don’t mind watching Middlesex get stuffed all the time.  Monkey-Face suggested that they are a bit of a gaggle which also might explain the name.

 

There were a few gentlemen in flat caps to give me the atmosphere of the place, but Monkey-Face was disappointed with the low level of flat-capping these days.

 

Styris and Weekes steadied things up again until Styris fell to a blinder of a slip catch by McGrath.  I watched it over and over again on my imaginary big screen.  The good thing about my big screen is that you can sometimes get a different result in the replay.  A fumble, just fell short, went straight through him………  No, Scotty Styris was out and 186/5 looked a bit dodgy again.

 

We had trouble finding Monkey-Face some banana-flavoured ice-cream for his tea and had to leave the ground but eventually found a suitable outlet.  Monkey-Face was in very high spirits at this stage and kept telling me that Yorkshire were staying up and Middlesex going down. 

 

I don’t think so! I don’t think so!! I don’t think so!!!

 

 

Evening

 

By the time we got back, Nash was already out and we were 240 odd for 6, make that 7 when Pepsi went quickly and we’re 7 down with only 1 bonus point in our pocket.

 

But Weekesy was a sensation and the bowlers supported him magnificently.  First Chad, then Swing-Louw put on really good partnerships with Weekesy.  We were now enjoying my favourite (ground-level) view sitting near the Middlesex team and dignitaries.  When he got to 100, Weekesy made a gesture that looked like a mimed signature.  “Oh look, Monkey-Face”, I said, “Weekesy has seen us and is offering to sign autographs for us at stumps”.  “I think he might be after Vinny’s signature”, said Monkey-Face and it occurred to me that Monkey-Face might be on to something there.

 

“Any road”, said Monkey-Face (who always starts to sound more Yorkshire when we come up here) “if that geriatric of yours can score 100, our Lehmann can score 200 tomorrow”.  Weekesy might take a geri-’atric’ tomorrow and wipe out your middle order” I said in reposte.  (I have to stick up for meself with Monkey-Face cos he’s brighter than me and usually comes off better, but not today).

 

At 348/9 I thought we might just miss out on that 4th batting point, but Silverwood smashed his first effort for 4 runs and therefore 4 bonus points.  “Yah-boo sucks” I said to Monkey-Face.  That told him.

 

Come stumps, Monkey-Face was talking about the weather looking poor for the next few days, which is usually a sign that he thinks his team is on the wrong end of it. 

 

My mentor, Gnomic the Leprechaun, said “now there’s a question” when I asked him who’d win.  And that’s exactly what he said at the end of day 1 against Yorkshire at Southgate, and we won that game.  Mind you, that is what Gnomic says whenever I ask him that question.

 

Thank you for reading this. 

 

© Hippity the Green Bunny 2006. 

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