Nicknamed "Loopi" because of his spectacular, but effective, bowling style of high looping full tosses, the Turk is thought to be a valuable asset when bowling with the sun setting at the Scoreboard End. Loopi is also a formidable batsman, opening the batting for his club Uzfibbin CC in the Turkish Premier – about the equivalent of our Derbyshire Premier. An ambidextrous batsman, Loopi averages over a hundred with the bat.

Loopi’s wages will be paid for by a sponsorship deal involving two local Derbyshire businesses, Koje Kars and Koje’s Kanteen, both owned by Loopi’s uncle Ista Koje. Ista told Sting: "A few of my taxi drivers play in your Derbyshire leagues and they tell me what a great bunch of sportsmen you all are, so I thought I would bring our Ralf over to try his luck in this country. After all, he is far too good to be playing in Turkish cricket".

Ista also told us that when Loopi wasn’t playing, he would be helping out as a waiter in Koje’s Kanteen. Youshaf Binnad, a spokesman for the Turkish Premier League confirmed Loopi's cricketing prowess. Binnad told us: "Ralf will be a sad loss to Turkish cricket, but we only have a few players in this country and Ralf is in a class of his own".

Sting In The Tail was able to speak to Loopi by phone today and he seemed genuinely excited at the prospect of playing at the County Ground. In broken English, reminiscent of Manuel from Fawlty Towers, he said: "I lurve you Eenglish and I want to kiss you all. I lurve your Dominica Cork and I want to kiss him too".

Corky was unavailable for comment, but a County Ground spokesman told us: "I have been told not to talk to this website, but an announcement will appear on the official Derbyshire site sometime in late October."

I’m sure all of us on this site wish Ralf the best of luck and hope that he can bring a trophy down to the County Ground, even if it is only the "Sting In The Tail Best Turkish Waiter" award.

For more on this World exclusive from Sting In The Tail, click here