The agenda for Saturday consisted of visiting 23 of the best, and worst, grounds in Derbyshire armed with collection buckets, all to help send young Alfie off to the States in style. 110 miles, a couple of beers and a few disappointments later, £630 was ready for banking into the 'Sting In The Tail Trust'.

Bad start

The day started at Marehay, venue of the Monsters of Cricket game. We met at the ground at midday, and after a quick look over the Vauxhall Meriva that Danny had blagged from his company Pentagon Motors, we were ready for the off. Within seconds, we were back, having left the Autoroute directions in the Marehay pavilion. Not the best start!

First port of call was Chesterfield, where we were due to collect the Monsters of Cricket programmes from Mike Taylor, as well as pick-up our guest helpers for the day, the much talked about 'Monsters Babes'. Speculation had been mounting during the week as to the identity of the elusive Babes, with lots of guesses as to who they might be and where they came from.

Keleigh, Sarah and Meriva

Keleigh Lacey and Sarah Pearson were the real stars of the day. After a chance meeting on the H1 into Derby a week ago, they volunteered to help with the collection buckets. This was a master stroke which certainly helped us reach our huge total for the day. Without their nagging us to hurry up, Danny and I would never have got around all the grounds, prefering, as blokes do, to discuss the pitch, the weather, last week's results - anything but collecting cash. Stand up Keleigh and Sarah while we give you a big round of applause.

What's that wet patch? (in joke). Keleigh attracts attention at Clay Cross

Leaving Chesterfield, we were delayed by the Saturday afternoon shopping traffic, and the Clay Cross one-way system, before we arrived slightly late at Sharley Park. The new adventure playground directly behind the bowlers arm was taking some hammer and the Swanwick lads were out on the ground warming up. After emptying their pockets, we headed back down the A61 for Morton and South Wingfield.

Notes start to flutter

At Wingfield, refreshments were hurriedly consumed as the first notes flutttered to the bottom of our buckets. We were starting to get into it by now.

On the long drive to Wirksworth, Danny, for some strange reason, started to launch into an unprovoked attack on paid players, much to the annoyance of Keleigh, whose husband Simon plays for Chesterfield. Were we about to have our first 'domestic' before the end of the first hour? After a bit of 'kissing and making-up' with some suitable grovelling from Mr Parkin, order was restored.

A quick chat at Wirksworth with Monsters master of ceremonies John Barlow followed before we set off back to the A61 for Belper Meadows.

On arrival at the Meadows, the Spondon lads greeted us with a demand to have their photos put on the site. After the exchange of a few coins, the deal was done, so here is my side of the bargain completed.

The 'Spondon Rabble' at Meadows

Duffield was the next stop-off, and it was here that Danny pulled off a fine publicity stunt by phoning Ram FM to tell them about our Monsters game. He was duly interviewed over the phone, and minutes later, his boring voice (his words not mine) were beaming out over Derbyshire.

Deluge becomes a trickle

The expected deluge of cash was starting to become a trickle by now, and the high spirits at the start of the journey were beginning to disppear. All this was to change at the next three venues who all welcomed us with opened arms.

Quarndon were superb. They had contacted us earlier and had already done a collection. Our two intrepid females were not to be outdone and duly set-off around the ground to squeeze a little bit more from the unsuspecting locals while Danny and I enjoyed a free beer in the bar. It's a hard life this collecting lark!

Keleigh even managed to prise a few bits of loose change from Notts star Samit Patel, and newly-found Derbyshire batsman Lian Wharton.

Boosted by the warm Quarndon welcome, we headed for Allestree, where Ambergate were the visitors. Site regular Paul Trowell greeted us with a cheque and some loose change after we had braved the barrage of kite-flyers.

Parkin, Pearson and Lacey check out Ockbrook's new ground

As expected, Ockbrook greeted us with another warm welcome. Another cheque, more free beer, and more loose change boosted our spirits even further. Even the unwarranted 'Marehay knobhead' comment from the pavilion steps, not by an Ockbrook member I hasten to add, was ignored as we were by now in full flight. If the voice behind the comment is reading this, hang your head in shame. You know who you are - and so do we!

Worst dressed cricketer

Elvaston and Sawley came and went uneventfully before we arrived at Sandiacre who were entertaining Mickleover. The favourite for the title 'worst dressed cricketer of the year', Steve Brown, had already done the business with the bat, and we were left to gaze in admiration at his appearance as he patrolled the boundary. Keep it up Browny, you're streets clear of the field mate.

The buckets were starting to get heavy by now after the Mickleover dressing room bolstered the coffers with some serious pocket-emptying. Thanks boys!

Clash of the big boys

Next up was a game we were looking forward to - the clash of the big boys of Stabbo and Tibby. Tibshelf were in all sorts of disarray on the field, but this didn't stop Flinty from pulling out a wad of notes with a smile of a satisfied fundraiser. You could make a living from this Kev - you're a natural 'extractor of cash from wallets'. A magnificent £76 went into our buckets from the two teams. Stand up Stapleford and Tibshelf - we're proud of you!

Danny was by now getting into the swing of things. At West Hallam, we were greeted with the site of an ambulance (pictured) treating an injured player. Never one to miss an opportunity, the 'pretty one' held up the ambulance, and the game, while he forced ten pence from the worried-looking driver.

If you are the unlucky player, I would just like to apologise on Mr Parkin's behalf for holding up your trip to the DRI.

More beer was consumed at Shipley, and after a chat with Messrs Crawford and Higginbottom we headed for the final Premier League game of the day at Denby.

Flyers found

On the way, I remembered the flyers that I had produced for the day, which we had dumped in the car boot and forgotten. I had to endure the naggings of the two girls for the rest of the day for this slight oversight. Sorry ladies for making your lives unnecessarily difficult.

After Denby, we had to skip Heanor as time was pressing and we were falling behind schedule. Sorry if you were expecting us.

Next stop was the Mill, and Sarah and Keleigh were in fine form on their home territory. Danny was boosted by a can of Red Bull while I was supping a cold Carling and chatting to the Millers lads on the balcony. Yet another great welcome which helped us down the home straight.

Parkin's home ground Riddings was followed by Swanwick, and another large collection from Malc Green's boys who donated the proceeds from a club barbeque to the fund. After surveying the damage to the sightscreens done by the local schoolkids, we headed for final port of call, Alfreton. We were left in amazement at the mentality of kids who want to destroy something which gives pleasure to so many others.

A message board (pictured left) in the Swanwick pavilion explains the situation. The board states: "To Belper. Our apologies for the sightscreen situation but as you know, the little 'darlings' at Swanwick Hall school (during lunchtime!), pushed the wooden sightscreen over! They had previously (also at lunchtime!) damaged the supports. We are in discussions with the school!! Whilst walking round the ground, please feel free to inspect their handy work. By the way, they have earlier in the year hacksawed one of the sightscreen locks off, also during lunchtime!!"

If anyone from the school is reading this, please sort the troublemakers out. This behaviour is not acceptable.

Alfreton were great, as usual, and handed over £48 which they had collected during the day. I'm rapidly becoming a regular down there, and the club maintained their reputation as one of the most friendly clubs in the county.

By now, it was 9:00pm and we had been on the road for nine hours. We headed back to Marehay for the after-tour cash counting. Keleigh and Sarah were embarrassed by the round of applause they recieved and we set about the task of bagging-up the coins. We were amazed when we found out that we had broken the £600 barrier - not a bad day's work!