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Kiwi Test 1

Off Again
By Bagpuss March 5 2008
Our resident traveller is off again and finds herself in Hamilton this winter for another Test in a foreign Land. This first report is in the form of a time warp but I'l let Bagpuss explain. It looks like internet access is better as well because it came through really quickly. Well done girl!!
If, like me, you are a child of the 80s, you have various options if you want to wallow in a little nostalgia. You can tune in to Ashes to Ashes (the BBC Life on Mars spin – off, no Australians in sight). You can book a ticket for one of the Eighties revival tours and see the likes of Belinda Carlisle and bands such as Haircut 100, Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet, or at least those band members who are still on speaking terms.

Or you can come to a Test match in Hamilton.


NEW ZEALAND v ENGLAND 1ST TEST
SEDDON PARK, HAMILTON 5 – 8 MARCH 2008

DAY 1

Don't get me wrong. I'm not being rude, quite the opposite. I love this country. The relaxed attitude to life, the welcoming nature of the inhabitants, the general regard for other people – all things that seem to be disappearing from the mother country. And for a country girl like me ( at least at heart, if you scratch the Scouse city veneer off the surface) the valuing of rural communities and their contribution to the country and the economy is a breath of fresh air after the UK, where the countryside is seemingly treated as a theme park for urbanites to visit at the weekend – or if they are rich enough, to own a holiday home. If the same sort of care was taken at international entry points to prevent animal and plant material being brought into the country as happens here in New Zealand (and admittedly also Australia) the UK may have avoided the catastrophic foot-and-mouth outbreak in 2001. Listen to the New Zealand equivalent of test Match Special , on a radio station which is commercial, though not intrusively so, and you will hear adverts for rye grass seed. Plant now for a rich, lush crop next spring! So much better than yet another gambling website. As I drive out of Liverpool every town has a bookies, an offie and a tanning salon. Drive out of Auckland and every town has a tractor shop. I LOVE this place!

When I was training as a vet, and then for the following 10 years as I trained future vets myself, a common quote was 'a cat is not a small dog'. In other words, although they are both kept as domestic pets, both mammals, both meat eating to a greater and lesser extent, they have very different physiology. They will develop different diseases, or different symptoms of the same disease, and have very different requirements for drug therapy. Give a dog with a sore leg paracetamol and you may make it feel better. Give a cat with a sore leg a scaled down dose of the same drug and you will kill it.

In the same way, contrary to the opinion of some first time New Zealand tourists, New Zealand is not a small Australia. OK, if you are planning your world tour they are in the same general area. Not as close as you think though – about a three hour flight from the eastern cities to Auckland, similar to flights from the UK to eastern Europe. Listen carefully to the native Kiwi and the accent is distinct – after landing at the earport you may wish to buy your tuckits for the cruckit tist match. The biggest mistake the first timers have made is to expect the weather to be similar to last year in Australia. New Zealand has a marine climate like the UK. Antipodean band Crowded House knew what they were talking about with Four Seasons In One Day. Of course the sun is just as vicious here – a big hole in the ozone layer means no protection from those UV rays. But the cooler ambient temperatures plus the omnipresent wind-chill factor means it is easy to forget to keep slapping on the factor 30. There were many England supporters heading home for an intimate moment with a bottle of aloe vera lotion at close of play today.

After Strauss and Harmison found some form in Dunedin the only question to answer about the make up of the England team for this first Test was regarding Sidebottom's fitness. He's fit, so he's in. Ambrose has been touted all tour as first choice glove man for the Test series – any remaining doubts about his debut were smashed yesterday, along with Phil Mustard,s nose, in a freak net accident involving Kevin Pietersen and the bowling machine. Hamilton surgeons will be attempting to rebuild the Colonel tomorrow – I suspect in this rugby-playing nation they may be rather good at this sort of surgery's probably a joke in there about lead piping in the library but I can't think of it.

New Zealand had a squad of 13 to pick their final starting eleven. But there is only really one place up for grabs and when the team is named it is off spinner Jeetan Patel who is in – a second spinner in the home side giving a heavy hint on how this Hamilton pitch will play. It was no surprise when a gleeful Vettori chose to bat when Vaughan called incorrectly.

Hamilton is an old-fashioned cricket ground in the best sense – a pleasant change from the make-do-or-mend rugby stadiums where international cricket is so often played on these shores. A stones throw – or maybe a McCullam 6 – from the centre of town, it is a pleasant fifteen minute walk to the match from where I am staying. A very brief peek in the bag by security on the gate, you get the impression this is more to fall in line with ICC regulations than any genuine desire to stop you bringing any belongings deemed essential to a day's cricket watching into the ground. There is a pavilion with some seating at one end of the ground, a smallish area of open stands (probably less than 25% of the circumference of the ground) with the remainder laid out to grassy banks – the ideal spot for a relaxing day at the cricket. There is no heavy-handed stewarding, you can walk right around the ground and are even invited on to the outfield during the lunch interval to have a look at the rather brown and lifeless pitch.

The other thing that is instantly noticeable as one looks around the ground is the number of England supporters here. And how few seem to be supporting the home team. OK, so festooning every available railing with the flag of the homeland seems to be a uniquely English phenomenon in world cricket, but suspicions are confirmed once play gets under way. Close your eyes and listen to the crowd reactions. A sizeable majority of those present are cheering for England.

Sidebottom opens the bowling from the City end of the ground with back-to-back maidens – despite missing out on the second match down in Dunedin he falls straight back into a good line and length and stays that way throughout the day. Hoggard bowls from the grandstand end. There is maybe a little swing from the new ball but nothing the opening batsmen, Matthew Bell and Jamie How can't deal with, with a little care. There is little in the way of bounce or pace off the pitch to give the bowlers much help.

Bell is the first to go. Ian Bell, that is. Fielding at short leg he is struck a vicious blow to the base of the hand by namesake Matthew. It is instantly obvious he is in trouble and after a few minutes assessment by the physio he is off the field and on his way to the local xray department.

Harmison replaces Hoggard in the 12th. Anyone hoping for a display of hostile bowling was in for a disappointment, but he still manages the breakthrough in his second over when Matthew Bell, buoyed by an uppercut over the slips for 4, plays at a wide half volley next ball and is well held by Cook in the gully. 44-1 and drinks are taken.

It was to be England's only success of the morning session as Fleming settles in quickly with How. Hoggard has another short spell whilst Panesar and Collingwood get a handful of overs between them before the interval. At lunch New Zealand are 87-1 off 28, How 39 and Fleming 29.

After lunch Vaughan persists with Panesar but two boundaries in the over to bring up the 50 partnership. Sidebottom resumes from the grandstand end – the opposite end to his accurate if unsuccessful morning spell. After the expensive first over these two manage to tie up the scoring rate. Surprisingly it is canny old Fleming who falls victim to the urge to score quicker, though it took a spectacular catch by Cook at gully to send him back. Fleming gone for 41, New Zealand 108-2 in the 38th. How reaches his first Test 50 (121 balls; 6x4) but at drinks New Zealand have added just 35 runs in 16 overs since lunch.

Hoggard replaces Sidebottom a few overs after drinks and Panesar, struggling a little with a strong breeze from his left, starts drifting on to the right handers pads and going for a few more runs. Vaughan gives him a break, bringing on Collingwood. He may not have many Test wickets but often proves to be a partnership breaker and so it is today as Sinclair misjudges his pace and gets through his shot a little early. Collingwood dives forward to take the return catch. 129-3.

Taylor joins How and a few overs later Vaughan thinks the time is right to bring Harmison back into the attack. Two boundaries in his first over take New Zealand past 150. new Zealand reach tea 174-3 off 58, How poised to make his first test hundred on 90 and Taylor only one short of his Test best on 16. Interesting fact – at this stage in the day Mr Extras is still to trouble the scorers.

After tea Vaughan goes back to this two most accurate bowlers of the day, Panesar and Sidebottom. The Barmy Army, vocal cords lubricated during the tea interval, have gathered in front of the scoreboard and beer tent. Without the prompting of their trumpeter Bill Cooper (who I believe will arrive in time for the second Test) and scattered around the ground, they have been quiet all day. But having gathered into a critical mass they strike up "Jerusalem". Whether it is this that inspires the England team, or the nervous nineties giving How the jitters I am not sure, but before we even get to those “dark satanic mills” Panesar has had consecutive lbw appeals turned down (probably outside the line) then gets a jittery edge from How which is picked up neatly by Collingwood at slip. How is out for 92, New Zealand 176-4.

Cook pulls off his third leaping catch of the day at gully to get Oram for just 10 off the bowling of Hoggard. New Zealand are 191-5, but next man in is Brendan McCullam. With Gilchrist's retirement the previous night, McCullam is arguably now the most destructive keeper-batsman in world cricket. His team mates Kyle Mills and Chris Martin would certainly think so; three days previously they had been on the wrong end of his batting talents as he scored 170 off 102 balls to help his state side Otago chase down Auckland's 340-odd in the state one-day final. With 8 overs to spare! Of course McCullam and Otago weren't without help from the English counties, Gloucestershire's Alex Gidman weighed in with 1 not out.

New Zealand's slightly perilous position wasn't going to make McCullam throttle back and Taylor starts to join in the fun a bit to. The fifty partnership comes up about twelve overs – stirring stuff considering the two-point-something runs per over we have been treated to for most of the day. McCullam's six of the last ball of the over bowled by Panesar finally makes up Vaughan's mind to take the new ball. There is obviously concern that the pace of the new ball will just aid McCullam in reaching the ropes and it seems that way as he hits a savage shot over wide mid on to bring up the 250. His reaches his own fifty shortly after (53 balls, 5x4/2x6) and Taylor follows at a more pedestrian pace (118; 7). Close of play cant come soon enough for England.

But there will be a final twist in the tail as McCullam, caught up in his own adrenalin rush, reaches for an incredibly wide ball from Sidebottom. It is probably one of the only truly bad balls he has bowled all day, but just catches the toe of the bat and Ambrose holds on to his first catch in Test cricket. 277-6. Vettori and Taylor hold fast for the final eleven balls and at close of play New Zealand are 282-6. The final wicket has swung an attritional day just about in England's favour.

Even before his second wicket Sidebottom has been the pick of the bowlers and his figures of 2-39 off 21, with 8 maidens, bears that out. Panesar didn't get a lot of turn on this first day wicket, and still bowls a little fast and flat, but coped well with the stiff breeze to finish the day with 1-66 off 26. Hoggard, who was suffering from a stomach bug a few days ago, was a little lackluster for his 1-95 off 21.The disappointment, as is becoming all to common, was Harmison. With 1-64 off 15 he was the most expensive of the bowlers, and although he wasn't as way off the mark as he can be, bowling at speeds in the low eighties he seemed easy for the batters to pick off.

The weather forecast for the remainder of this Test is pretty good, a mixture of sun and cloud, though this could and probably will change. What won't change much is the slow, flat pitch. England need to nip out the last four early on day two. But New Zealand's lower order, often left to dig their team out of trouble in recent times by a fragile batting line up, can be notoriously difficult to shift. A quick, hostile early morning spell by Harmison could make all the difference. I live in hope.

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Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Grockle (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:05:20:43:05

Sent by BobStan

One of your very best, I think, Bagpuss

Many thanks; I feel I know more about NZ than I have learned from any other piece of writing.

(Sm72)

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Bagpuss (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:10:03:05

NEW ZEALAND v ENGLAND 1ST TEST
SEDDON PARK, HAMILTON 5 – 8 MARCH 2008

DAY 2

Often when watching a match abroad it can be difficult to find out the latest news. The spectator at the ground seems forgotten in the all-pervading importance of the master that is television. If you are lucky – and maybe fluent in the local lingo – you can try tuning in to the home country version of Test Match Special. My own preference is often to lurk in hope of bumping into a member of the English press corps who will usually – though by no means always – have some idea of what is going on. On some days the only thing you can do is wait until the wickets fall and try to recognise who comes in to bat next. I sometimes feel like a demented scorer and have to resist the urge to bellow out 'BOWLER?' to the fine leg fieldsman at each bowling change.

Not so here in Hamilton. There are regular updates on the score (presumably for those unable or unwilling to read the more than adequate scoreboard). At least twice a day there will be optimistic weather forecasts for the rest of the match, along with reminders to keep slapping on the sunscreen. Yesterday the crowd knew Ian Bell was off to the local hospital for xrays probably before his team mates, and certainly we knew the results (no fracture, just bruising) before any announcement was made on Test Match Kiwi. And after the fall of a wicket, the new batsman is introduced to the crowd with a brief run down of his CV.

New Zealand's number 5 must have been thrilled when our friendly ground announcer told all those listening that he had a Test best score of 17. Not something he would have wanted advertising and, I suspect, an experience he decided there and then would not be repeated. At the close on day 1 Ross Taylor had bettered his Test best by 37; today he extended it to 120. He and Vettori proved what the New Zealand captain had known when he won the toss yesterday, that this flat, easy paced pitch was full of runs. Together they batted through the morning session, against some pretty uninspired England bowling garnished with tasty wide half volleys, and for another hour or so afterwards. Taylor's hundred came off 185 balls with 16 fours, the seventh wicket partnership added 148, a record for new Zealand against England. Eventually Vaughan called for a barrel, gave it a good scrape, and plucked out Kevin Pietersen and threw him the ball.

The England captain must have wished he'd thought of it sooner. Watching Pietersen bowl, it is difficult to take him completely seriously, he looks so, well, camp. But with a grand total of two test wickets he obviously has something, and certainly will extract some turn with his offspinners in favourable conditions. Or maybe the batters just get the giggles. Taylor has an almighty swish at his third ball, gets a top edge and Pietersen positions himself to take the catch. Taylor is out for 120 but New Zealand have seized the initiative at 425-7.

Vettori finds a good foil in new batsman Mills and looks set to reach is own hundred. Pietersen gets a couple more overs as a reward for the wicket but then Vaughan brings back Harmison. Surely the sight of the number 9 will gee him up a bit. The signs aren't too promising as his first ball is left by the batsman but fails to carry through to the keeper. It is Collingwood at the other end who strikes next, a slower ball inducing the false stroke from Vettori. Strauss takes the catch in a wide slip position to send new Zealand's captain back just twelve runs short of his third test hundred. Vaughan loses patience with Harmison's efforts after three or four overs and brings back Sidebottom who wraps things up in the space of three balls; his second ball edged by Patel to Strauss in a more conventional slip position, the next ball plucks Martin's off stump from the ground. By this time New Zealand have amassed a daunting 470 in 138.3 overs. Sidebottom is the pick of the bowlers, in both impression and figures, with 4-98 off 38.3 overs. The first five wickets contributed 191, the second five 279.

Tea is taken half an hour early, a relief I'm sure for England's openers who would not have relished a tricky four or five overs before the break. When Cook and Vaughan start they are watchful, in much the same way as Bell and How were for the Kiwis. Vettori turns to spin in the form of Patel after just twelve overs and brings himself on at the other end soon after. Everything is going swimmingly until the last fifteen minutes or so when Cook miscues, gets a top edge which is caught in the outfield by substitute fielder Horsley off Chris Martin. Its 84-1 and with only five and a bit overs to go England send in night watchman Hoggard. I'm sure I've got on my soapbox before on the merits or otherwise of this tradition and I still cant see it as anything but a no-win situation, particularly on a pitch with so few demons as this one. Either your night watchman contrives to lose his wicket – much more likely than were a specialist batter to come in. Or, if he survives until close of play, he provides an end for the bowling team to attack in the first session next day. Whilst taking part in a moderately heated debate with some club cricket playing friends I almost missed Vaughan surviving a pretty close lbw shout from Vettori. He survives, the doubt over whether ball hit bat before or after pad saving him. There is no doubt however when next over Hoggard edges Martin to the safe hands of Fleming at slip. 86-2. England go to plan B and send in Strauss. I rest my case.

Strauss and Vaughan survive unscathed to close of play. But at 87-2 England are still 383 behind or 184 short of the follow on target. Though with some little puffs of dust coming off this dry pitch today, I would think it unlikely to be enforced.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Frome Exile (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:10:18:35

Excellent stuff, as always, dear lady!

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Shepton Paul (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:10:37:29

Thanks Baggy, excellent stuff as always.

Should be able to bat sensibly and save the day, esp if Bell's OK, so I'm not too despondent.

Is this Harmison's last Test? It's looking like it should be, esp if the NZ wickets stay this slow. Broad's got to be a better bet in all departments: bowling, fielding, batting, the future...

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: bloke (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:11:51:45

Bagpuss, great stuff.

Have you done much exploring around Hamilton? I can strongly recommend the glow-worm caves at Waitomo, south of Hamilton. Also, the 'Black-water' rafting is an absolute must.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:14:03:59

Why do I stay awake all night to listen to the radio when all I have to do is await such a perfect account in the morning!

Many thanks Bp

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: bloke (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:16:11:11

One word LoL: devotion

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:16:11:52

A beautiful piece of work cheers Baggers.

LoL-it's because you're an insomniac.

Next question please.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:16:51:12

anal obsessive, more like

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:16:55:00

This could get quite funny.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: bloke (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:06:16:57:04

I'm the same - did you hear Gilchrist's interview last night? (or was it the night before..) I enjoyed it, but those Aussies must get tired of being asked about 'that' Ashes series.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Bagpuss (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:07:20:13:46

NEW ZEALAND v ENGLAND 1ST TEST
SEDDON PARK, HAMILTON 5 – 8 MARCH 2008

DAY 3

I have tried leaving this until the morning of day 4 to write, in the hope that a good night's sleep will help me look back at the day 3 proceedings with more enthusiasm.

It hasn't worked.

Vettori and Martin continue where they left off the evening before. Vaughan reaches his 50 (127; 6) and England reach three figures as the England batters patiently build their partnership. Its not exactly stirring stuff at a run rate of about two and a half runs an over, but all in a good cause. Patel the off spinner gets the breakthrough in the 62nd over, a thickish edge from Vaughan taken by the keeper. Vaughan is out for 63, England 130-3.

Pietersen hits his third ball of the innings for a straight six shortly before lunch, waking those who have been gently snoozing in the crowd. Any still asleep are woken a few minutes later as the Kiwis appeal enthusiastically for a catch down the leg side but umpire Davis is unmoved, Pietersen is safe. Replays suggest a good decision. England go to lunch 159-3 off 73, Strauss 43 and Pietersen 10. 72 runs off 32 overs is hardly heart stopping stuff.

It was at this point that many of you lucky people on GMT would have chosen to go to bed. Good decision.

Strauss lasts just three balls after the interval as Vettori gets a bit more turn than he anticipated and he is bowled. 159-4. Bell is next in – he has been batting in the nets over the lunch interval ans seems outwardly untroubled by the hand injury sustained in the first session of the match. Vettori chooses to continue with the two-pronged spin attack and delays taking the new ball until after 90 overs, by which time the score has moved along to 188-4. A rare boundary as Bell on drives for 4 brings up the 200. Bell is outscoring Pietersen in this snails' race but he doesn't last to the finish as Mills bowls him, with the suspicion of an inside edge, in the 97th over. 203-5. As the kettle is being put on for tea Pietersen hits a boundary – the first since the six just before lunch – and England go for a cuppa 215-5 off 104; Pietersen 36 and Collingwood yet to score. 56 runs off 31 overs. Hope that tea isn't caffeine-free.

Some credit in all this has to go to Vettori's field placings, which have cut off Pietersen's usual scoring routes and deterred him from going aerial on his favoured leg side. But it is almost with relief that he is put out of his misery eleven overs after tea, going with a whimper rather than a roar, a bat-pad return catch o the diving Vettori. 245-6.

At this point England are still 26 runs short of the somewhat theoretical follow on. Collingwood is joined by Ambrose, on debut, and this partnership is crucial. Fortunately Ambrose seems positive, Collingwood has started to move feet that started off pretty leaden, and together they put on 41 in the final 19 overs of the day. At a rte of over 2 runs an over it was heady stuff as England close on 286-6; Collingwood 41 and Ambrose 23.

England have added just 199 runs in a whirlwind 93 overs. For those who think twenty20 cricket is anathema, those who complain about slow over rates and those who delight in the forward defensive it was a day to savour. But there aren't too many of those here. And although I would have been the first to moan had England been all out in a flurry of rash and poorly chosen shots, have they really helped their cause? Yes, they have batted time, but seem to have forgotten this will not help them if they don't make inroads into the New Zealand score. With about twenty or so overs to go today, then two full days, England could find themselves with a first innings deficit of 150 plus, trying to restrict a New Zealand team with hitters the likes of McCullam, Oram and How, who will certainly be looking at something better than two an over, before having to bat out 3-4 sessions. With the caution they have shown on day 3, how will they approach batting on a wearing day 5 pitch?

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Sloop John B (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:07:21:23:45

Thanks Baggy - the usual good stuff!

Gave up early last night when England 129-3 - didn't need Horlicks!

Seems we are just trying to save the match on a very slow wicket. Such wickets are what lead to the large unoccupied spaces at the Hamilton ground! Hardly a day for afficionados leave alone new converts from the ranks of 20:20!!

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:07:22:22:29

I went on for a while longer,it was best described as attritional I think.
I love Test cricket and have always been fascinated by the twists and turns,every ball is exciting but have to admit it did get boring at one stage.
Why groundsmen,or rather those who instruct groundsmen to make pitches where the only possible result is a draw is beyond me.
This pitch did plenty in the one dayers,to shave it making it bereft of any pace and bounce has made this match something of a non event,the sort of thing that doesn't help the cause of the Test match in a country where attendances are already very low for this format of the game.
Now we've all slated it watch something crazy happen with wickets tumbling all around.
Or maybe that was my alarm clock going off.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Congar (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:05:21:36

Day 4 has restored the faith and set up a potentially excellent final day. Looking forward to your post Bagpuss.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:09:46:15

It was a superb day's play,good old Arnie he bowled brilliantly.
The great thing about this game is that it continues to surprise you,prior to lunch last night there was more chance of me opening the batting for Somerset than this happening.
Should be excellent tonight and reward for those of us who have had to put up with three and a half days of very slow stuff.
Great stuff this five day game,who needs hit and giggle?

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Sloop John B (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:10:37:31

The catching was superlative! Strauss good, Hoggard better, Cook stupendous!! One of his catches last night diving in the slips was as good as any I've seen.

Sidebottom's hat-trick has set this match up with three possible results (four if you contemplate a Tie!). Only the fourth hat-trick by an England player since Peter Loader in 1957.

The problem for NZ was when the tried to up the scoring rate - the very slow pitch confounded them. How, McCullum and Taylor went trying to force the pace.

Very much looking forward to the missive from Bagpuss!

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:12:43:22

"Now we've all slated it watch something crazy happen with wickets tumbling all around."

Well done, BJ. I trust your horses have been responding to your positive forecasts equally positively.

I'm glad I was awake to hear Hoggard's catch and then the hat trick. We need to take the last two wickets extremely quickly, for even then the target will require faster scoring than at any time in the match so far.

It could be extremely entertaining.

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:14:10:49

I have this knack LoL,in a previous life I reported for the Western mail that the maiden voyage of the titanic had gone well,swimmingly infact.
The rest as they say..........

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Bagpuss (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:08:21:11:27

NEW ZEALAND v ENGLAND 1ST TEST
SEDDON PARK, HAMILTON 5 – 8 MARCH 2008

DAY 4

The day starts pretty much as it left off yesterday evening, Vettori and Martin bowling, Collingwood and Ambrose inching the England total run by run towards the distant New Zealand total. The 50 partnership, then Collingwood's own fifty (140; 9), brought up with four edged through where second slip would be, if Vettori had thought to put one there. England reach 300 off the last ball of the 144th over – or 869 balls.

England's tortuous progress towards securing the draw is not without chances – Ambrose calls Collingwood for a suicidal single and is firmly sent back – even a reasonable throw by the fielder would have had him struggling. Ambrose is lucky again as McCullam, standing up to the bowling of Oram, shells a chance. But as lunch approaches the odds on the draw are falling.

Then the breakthrough. Collingwood lbw to Oram. He stands a moment longer than propriety allows, a slight shake of the head and trudges off. The feeling amongst England supporters was it looked a bit high. Replays show the ball hit just above the pad – but he back foot which will always be a problem. Further use of technology reveals the reason for the disappointment shown by the batsman – a faint inside edge.

Sidebottom joins Ambrose in time to help him celebrate a half century in his debut Test (157; 5) and England survive the first session for the loss of just the one wicket at 347-7 off 166 overs, Ambrose 55 and Sidebottom 2. Draw, draw, draw.

It takes the kiwis barely 7 overs to swing the match back their way after lunch. Ambrose and Harmison going in consecutive balls in the first over after the interval. Panesar survives Patel's hat-trick ball, and nearly six more overs before falling lbw to Mills. Only one more run has been added to the total since lunch. England, 348 all out, concede a first innings lead of 122. Positive batting by the home side could see them back in before close of play facing a total of 320+. Advantage New Zealand.

Sidebottom is also on a hat trick as he opens the bowling in the second innings. Kept out, but not for long as he has Bell caught behind off the third ball of the over. 1-1. Hoggard at the other end still seems a bit out of sorts, but it is Harmison who is obviously snubbed when Vaughan brings on Collingwood as first change for Sidebottom in the 13th over. Harmison eventually gets his chance in the 18th, replacing Hoggard, and is stroked through the on side by Fleming for 4 to bring up the 50. In the last over before tea a chance – albeit difficult – goes begging as Collingwood's dive is in vain for the catch off his own bowling. Fleming, on 40, survives and at tea New Zealand are
55-1 off 15, How 15 and Fleming 40.

After tea Vaughan continues with Harmison and Collingwood. Wary of the need to curb the run scoring, aware that the easies way to do this is to get wickets, Harmison is proving to be a liability. He gets just four overs, going for 24 runs, before being sent out to patrol the outfield. Fleming meanwhile is looking a class above any other batsman on show in this match and reaches 50 off just 66 balls (5/1). New Zealand are 180 runs in front, cruising nicely and the talk is how far ahead they want to be before the declaration. Surely they will be looking to have a bowl at England before the close.

As is often the case, the madness is triggered by one sublime moment. Today, it is a running, leaping catch by that well known athlete one Matthew Hoggard. How has hit the ball high and towards the midwicket boundary, Hoggy is chasing round and somehow takes the catch, leaping into the air to get hands on the ball. The rest of the team look in in disbelief, then amazement, as does the batsman. New Zealand are 99-2

Maybe this was enough just to crack the concentration of Fleming, but a couple of overs later his drive is a little loose. Even so, he would have considered himself a little unlucky to have been well caught for the second time in the match by Cook in his new favourite fielding position of gully. Sidebottom has all three wickets and New Zealand are 109-3. Are they bovvered? An obvious statement of intent as next man in is Brendan McCullam, to the cheers of the crowd whose Black Cap proportion has increased this Saturday afternoon. Fleming fell off the last ball of the over, but Sinclair knows his place and its at the non-strikers end. He takes a single to get McCullam on strike. The keeper isn't hanging around, just one ball off Panesar as a sighter, the next is launched over the on side. Strauss is running round from mid on – the race is on between Strauss and gravity, as the ball starts to fall earthwards. And Strauss wins. He gets about half a second to steady himself before safely taking the catch. New Zealand have played their joker and it hasn't come off. 110-4.

Next over it is the Sidebottom/Cook combination that strikes again as Sinclair plays at a wide ball. Cook, previously suspected of having trouble catching cold, takes another unbelievable catch – he has five in all so far this match, none of them easy, two that Jonty wold have been proud of. 115-5 and in the general mayhem many of us overlook the fact that, for the second time since lunch today, Sidebottom is on a hat-trick. Oram, leaden footed at the best of times, proves the ideal target and umpire Harper's finger triggers celebrations by the long-haired Yorkeshireman, along with the several Sidebottom-bewigged members of the Barmy Army.

New Zealand are 115-6. They have lost 4 wickets for 6 runs in 9 balls. Suddenly thoughts are turning from victory to survival. But the batters at the crease are Taylor, on this 24th birthday, and Vettori, the pair who made a record-breaking partnership in the fist innings.

There is no birthday present for Taylor. His dismissal is a tame return catch to Panesar. 119-7, and the Barmy Army sing Happy Birthday as he leaves the field. Sidebottom is finally replaced by Hoggard – the spirit is willing but the flesh is definitely weakening and he needs the break. Panesar is not finished yet though, Mills sweeps without getting his pads out of the way and is out. 141-8.

Vettori has a problem. At this stage every run is vital, but he is running out of capable partners. Patel isn't a complete bunny but still Vettori is turning down singles whilst getting the odd ball through to the boundary. At the close they are 147-8 off 48 overs – the lead is 269. Drinks are on Sidebottom with 5-37, but may need to be delayed until after the final day.

England's batting has been guarded to the point of tediousness, the bowling at times has been insipid, their ground fielding scruffy at best. But the catching has been stupendous. Barely a chance has gone begging; none of us can remember a time when England have caught so well. If catches win matches, they deserve to win on the final day. But to do so they may well need to score over 300 runs, at a run rate faster than at any other point in the match. After his first innings (42 off 131 balls) Pietersen said it was one of his best innings ever, that it was soooo difficult batting out there. Will we see him at the press conference at the end of the match saying “just kidding”?

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:01:05:09

You were right about it being exciting LoL,though I'm afraid the run chase became a wicket fest.
This Test will be remembered for an incredible turnaround of fortunes,and also an atrocious capitulation by England.
I've had enough at 61-7,we look clueless.
One thing for me is never to make a prediction when this lot are playing,they always manage to surprise.
It has been a bad day for English sport.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: The Diamond ruled ok (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:03:01:07

Could be worse BJ , you could have got up at 2.30 am to listen to the Test and the big fight to find both already over . Add these to the p!ss poor display by England Rugby yesterday afternoon and the Spurs game v West Ham this afternoon becomes the only highlight left of the weekend . At least till later when I could feel lke Manure and Chelski fans do already this weekend .

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:10:55:33

I'm glad I had the wit to go to bed early and not to stay up for the cricket, sensing the "inspirational" effect the rugby players would have on the cricketers. The only good result of the weekend was Barnsley's.

AND I only got one number!

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:11:17:23

Come on LoL,you know that wasn't the only great result of the weekend.
The cricket was ghastly,like watching kids play,and pretty useless kids at that.
Never mind,things have a somewhat rosy glow to them today,even the news that Thatcher is well doesn't stop me grinning.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:12:11:00

Well, BJ, maybe I can mention that I shall certainly be supporting Wales next weekend.

But that will not extend to Glamorgan in the summer.

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:12:27:27

I shall send you a Max Boyce style,self assembly leek just for the big day LoL.
I agree wholeheartedly with the last statement.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Loyal of Lhasa. (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:13:31:27

No swanning on the Watchet Prom tonight for you, BJ. Batten down the shutters against the threatened storm and wish the wildest weather across the channel to Wales, who deserve it more.

Stay safe.

LoL

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:14:18:36

Cheers LoL,it does look rather stormy I have to admit.
Just had a phone call from my brother who is stuck in Dublin,all ferries back are being cancelled.
Looks like a lot of the boys will be stuck in the Emerald Isle until Wednesday.
I wonder what they'll be doing?

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: The Diamond ruled ok (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:15:54:37

They shouldn't run out of the black stuff , it's only brewed in Dublin . I can think of worse places to be stuck till Wednesday , like , the M20 waiting to get a boat from Dover .

Good luck with the weather down West foks it's looking really bad on the satalites , even us Southern softies are due to cop it tonight . I wonder what Michael Fish's view on the matter is ?

Strap those windmills down , get the livestock inside and ride it out .Shame there's no cricket to listen to overnight , I don't think many of us will be getting much sleep all the same .

Be safe all of you .

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Grockle (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:17:48:45

I'd rather listen to the storm than the garbage I was subjected to last night I have to admit. Well - at least from the English side

(Sm72)

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Bagpuss (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:20:43:16

NEW ZEALAND v ENGLAND 1ST TEST
SEDDON PARK, HAMILTON 5 – 8 MARCH 2008

DAY 5

New Zealand may have left the ground last night nervous about the resurgent England, but by the start of day 5 they had realised that the ball was still in their court. Vettori dispels all doubts with a positive start – the Kiwis are looking to set a declaration target.

26 runs are added in five and a bit overs – 22 by Vettori – before he becomes a third victim of the innings of the Sidebottom/Cook partnership. Martin joins Patel, but it is not long before Vettori realises that Martin's energies would be better spent trying to bowl out England rather than grinding out a chancy run or two. Half an hour into the morning the declaration comes at 177-9. England need exactly 300 to win off a minimum 81 overs.

At first glance this looks, in the grand scheme of modern-day Test cricket, a very generous declaration. But in their first innings England took 869 balls to reach the same total – or 144 overs! If the boot were on the other foot so to speak, England having set New Zealand the same target, I would fancy England's chances – more so if they had New Zealand's bowling attack!

The signs are good in the first couple of overs as fifteen runs come off the first two overs. But Cook's two boundaries are edges to third man through the slips whilst Vaughan's four the result of a top edge over the cordon. The Kiwi's wouldn't have been unduly worried.

They shouldn't have been. Kyle Mills puts together a spell of 5 overs, taking 4-7, to decimate England's top order and put out to pasture any thoughts England had of even saving this match, let alone winning it. Cook is first to go, wafting at a wide ball, edging to McCullam. 19-1. Vaughan next – the ball kept a little low but was hitting middle. 24-2. Strauss plays at a ball angled across him; the catch by McCullam diving to his left would be the best of the 5 he takes in this second innings. 25-3. Finally Pietersen completes the Mills' quartet. Worked over by Martin the previous over, who must take some of the credit for the prize wicket, he is rooted in his crease,shoulders arms to one that nips back nary a little and flicks the top of his back pad. Hawk eye suggested the ball would have flicked the top of off stump, so the decision may have been marginal in its correctness, but to be honest if you shoulder arms you are asking for trouble. 30-4.

Collingwood and Bell survived until lunch, which must have been taken extremely uneasily in the England dressing room. Their continuation after lunch made day 3's batting display look a run fest – no-one really believed they could bat out 70-odd overs for the draw, least of all the Kiwis. Vettori, the man we all thought would be the fourth-innings tormentor, has had little to do but comes on to clear up Collingwood, a rare attacking cut shot chopped onto his stumps. He has made two runs off 50 balls and England are 59-5.

Ambrose adds a debut duck to his debut 50 in the first innings. In his defence he is out to the only truly unplayable ball of the lot. He plays outside the line of a ball that nips back in a little and bounces off the top of off stump. 60-6. Sidebottom cannot add batting heroics to his one-man-show and edges Martin to McCullam. 60-7. Hoggard does exactly the same – edging a wide ball he shouldn't have played the delivery after one struck him a painful blow in the ribs. 67-8. Harmison finishes a miserable 5 days in Hamilton with a single run to his name as Fleming juggles and clings on to a slip catch off Patel. At 77-9 England are in danger of their first sub-100 innings total since, er, the last test match they played in Galle in December. But Bell does what he is becoming increasingly good at – delaying the inevitable when all hope has gone. Panesar makes a mockery of those with more elevated batting positions by sticking around with him and scoring a few runs himself, including a straight drive for 4 of Vettori. The Barmy Army reach a more frantic note singing on the hill – eerie comparisons with the band singing on the decks of the Titanic spring to mind. During the best partnership of the innings Bell and Panesar add 33 runs in 12 overs in just under an hour. Bell reaches his 50 (140;5/2), his not out 54 is pretty much 50% o0f the England total as Panesar edges Oram to the keeper in the penultimate over before a delayed tea interval.

Vettori is man of the match for his all-round performance. Grumbles on the hill amongst the England supporters that Sidebottom should have got some compensatory champagne for his hat-trick amongst the 10 wickets in the match – a first for England in New Zealand. But the award will almost always go to the winning side. And to be honest, he probably only took 4 in the first innings because no other bowler did. And his second innings wickets were in part caused by the Kiwi desire to attack to set a declaration target. Disagree with me you may, I would have been tempted to give Ross Taylor a late birthday present for his 120.

Meanwhile England have three days to try to turn around a dismal performance. Over the course of this Test they have won one, maybe two of the 14 sessions. With a few exceptions their screen test report may well read “Can't bat, can't bowl, can catch a little”. With all the hair-tearing going on, Vaughan will be able to add the “balding” tag too.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: wurzel (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:20:46:40

Quote:
Loyal of Lhasa.
I'm glad I had the wit to go to bed early and not to stay up for the cricket, sensing the "inspirational" effect the rugby players would have on the cricketers. The only good result of the weekend was Barnsley's.
AND I only got one number!

LoL

I got three numbers, for about the 10th time since it began.
That makes me down about £540

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: The Diamond ruled ok (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:21:04:59

The weekend got better , Spurs stuffed West Ham .

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Grockle (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:22:56:09

And for some Somerset supporters the "Gas" lost. Now that may mean happy or sad depending on where in Bristol you live. For most of our lot I think it's the former but not all.

(Sm72)

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: VictheFish (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:09:23:24:45

Getting back to the cricket ...

An abject display on the last day when, against all the odds we got back within a chance of doing so much better.

I had thought we were a little light on bowling going into the match with four front-liners, only one of them a spinner. However, to have two seamers under-perform so badly adds too much pressure on to the others.

Bell's positive foot movement today made others look like novices. Collingwood looked petrified of moving twelve inches forward! Bell alone looked as if he had a gamplan to take to the Kiwis. However, it's sometimes easier to stand out in a sea of mediocrity! (Has to be said, what wouldn't they have given for a fully in-form Banger? But that's just wishful thinking).

Strauss looked poor in both innings and Vaughn is not yet himself, given away by his shots-on-the-move. When he's at his best he makes just the one movement and his timing is far sweeter. He also seems to come down on the ball with a straighter batpath.

Pieterson seems to have forgotten that he was the flair player, capable of the audacious and unorthodox shots others can only dream of. Is it just me or does he seem to be moving about the crease like dear old Kim Barnett, ex-Derbyshire and England (briefly) who hopped from outside leg like a rabbit in headlights! At least if KP's head and eyes are level at the point of release he can judge the length and line, if his timing's out then he's knackered.

How much his natural game has been changed by coach influence because of the need to hang in for a draw and not risk something that might turn a game because the others have let him down is subject to discussion ...

Never mind. At least the pre-match drills looked sharp and Mark Garraway managed to sell another few of those rubber-faced bats that his firm makes. It's only New Zealand, perhaps we'll pick things up and salvage a drawn series again. No-one will notice, it's 12,000 miles away and not the Ashes. At least all our blokes are happy on their contracts and not taking the multi-million dollar Indian six-week option.

Roll on the summer and a real team, playing meaningful cricket and going all-out to win!

VtF.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Big Jim (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:10:00:16:05

Cheers Baggers,painful stuff.
That surely has to be one of the most inept performances by England for many years,I can't even begin to think what was going through their minds.
To watch players like Pieterson,Collingwood and Vaughan behave like they've never held a bat before was shocking,quite disgusting.
I'm with you on the last statement Vic,at least we know our lads are going to be giving it their all.
That lot last night didn't even try.
Pathetic.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: BristolRob (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:10:00:51:06

Grockle,as a former tote-ender I am not happy today but hey life goes on and the countries premier sport starts in a few weeks.

Wish I lived in Taunton

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Congar (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:10:05:10:15

Not sad, Grockle, still celebrating some great times this season and over the last year or so (and more to come), and I have always lived South of Bristol.

Nassaugas.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: Frome Exile (IP Logged)
Date: 2008:03:10:09:35:59

Two points in response to VtF.

Quote:
Collingwood looked petrified of moving twelve inches forward!

Particularly disapponting given that a) I'm one of his biggest fans (as LoL will testify), b) he looked the class of the field in the first knock and c) this is (from memory) the second time he's been our best player in the first dig only to look like a schoolboy with a twig when there's a game to be saved.

Quote:
Pieterson seems to have forgotten that he was the flair player, capable of the audacious and unorthodox shots others can only dream of

And on a related theme: does anyone else find it pretty disingenuous when SirITB reels off the names of those players who are, in his eyes, taking their plasces for granted, and then in the next breath states that the playere he represents should be elevated to 3 at a time when he's averaging 24 concurrent with Bell averaging 49!

I hate to say "I told you so", but I said at the time of Pietersen's arrival as the "great white hope" that his level of unorthodoxy was unsustainable. He's been found out, and needs to go back to getting his basics right.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2008:03:10:09:47:25 by Frome Exile.

Re: Kiwi Test 1
Posted by: