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Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton

Ton Up
By LizzieJ
August 21 2008
Lizzie tells us all about her day at Lord's watching Middlesex take on Leicestershire (aka Kolpakshire North) on the opening day of this CC match. But the main talking point of this feature is Lizzie's description of a mystery villain who promised her much at Old Trafford but delivered nothing at Lord's. Who could this villain possibly be and will we ever find out his or her identity?

Weather Jinx?  Batting Jinx?? 

I’m slightly nervous about going to Lord’s today. After Sunday’s wasted trip I’ve certainly lived up to my nickname (courtesy of the Lancky girls) as a “Weather Jinx”, specific to Old Trafford but I’m hoping that doesn’t extend from Old Trafford down South.   

Get to Lord’s about ten minutes late due to my friend running late, but we get there with the score 3-0, new opening partnership is Strauss 2 and Housego 0. Unfortunately for him, Housego only made a single before he was caught by Nixon off Malik. I’m crossing everything that this isn’t the start of another batting collapse.   

It isn’t. Miraculously it isn’t.   We make it to lunch with only one wicket down, the score at 116, Strauss not out 67 and Joyce not out 45 with some beautiful shots being played all around.

Mixed Fortunes in the Afternoon  

After lunch Joyce made his fifty, but that over contained mixed fortunes as Strauss was caught by a sub off Henderson for a well worked 71. Disappointing he didn’t convert, but considering our recent openers scores I was willing to settle.   This brought Morgan to the crease with score on 128-2. He didn’t hang around for long, making 19 before he was caught at slip.  

Ed Joyce, Middlesex

 Well batted until that edge 

Then Joycey got his first 100 of the season with a boundary off Kruger, only adding one more before Kruger took his revenge by claiming his wicket. At tea the score was 220-4.   

At Old Trafford I bumped into a certain MTWD person who managed to talk me into giving up my ticket to use for their own benefit for the refund scheme. After attempts to palm me off with Burger King and KFC vouchers, this person promised me a pint in exchange. Just before tea this person tried to talk at me while I’m on the phone to my mum. No pint. How rude. You know who you are!  

Evening Draws On  

Malan and Scott took us safely through to 80 overs, going from 13 a piece to Malan taking on the role of chief run scorer, getting up to 46 while Scott hovered through the teens. Leicestershire took the new ball at 80, and the batsmen batted carefully before Malan was bowled for his 46 by Kruger.

Light seemed to be a bit dodgy, and Udal was soon gone for 5. Murts trotted out to join Scott; only to promptly trot back in again as the umpires decided the light had gotten worse. Scott finished on 33 not out from 88 deliveries with the score 285-6.   

In Summery Weather……  

I was especially pleased my weather jinxing was solely up in Manchester, and delighted to see both Joyce and Strauss looking in good touch. More than that, it was a huge relief to go into lunch with only one wicket down. More of that please boys.

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Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: Middlesex till we die (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 06:17

Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: Ged (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 06:27

Many thanks for this excellent report, Lizzie.

I caught the closing overs and would just like to add a few thoughts of my own.

I thought Kruger bowled really well with the second new ball, as did "Jacqueline" du Preeze (yes I know it's spelt differently).

Both Scott and Malan found it really hard against the new ball in the gloom. Scott was dropped at 2nd slip - a fairly easy chance. Malan was eventually undone.

Shaggy must be spitting feathers after the umpires consulted over the light for ages, let Kruger have one snorter at Shaggy to get rid of him and then took everyone off for bad light before another ball was bowled (and indeed in the same gloomy light as the previous, opposite decision).

I am told (by those whose judgement I trust) that Malik's opening spell of the day was very good and that Dan Housego got a rip-snorter to remove him early doors. I saw Malik bowl two spells late in the day - one with the old and one with the new ball - those spells were all over the place.

Ben Scott's batting has come on leaps and bounds this season. If he can hang around at at least one of the remaining batsmen can hang around with him, 350 is possible. But that will take some getting.

BBC says that Middlesex are on top in this match. Ged suspects that the match is evenly poised now.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: dingy bags (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 07:42

Funnily enough, Kruger's earlier spells were as all over the place as Malik was later in the day. They bowled too short at Strauss who cut and pulled merrily.

Housego's moved away and lifted - no disgrace there.

Ball did a bit all day and even seemed to offer a little turn.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: dynamo_harrow (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 07:55

Quote:
Ged
BBC says that Middlesex are on top in this match. Ged suspects that the match is evenly poised now.

Ged apparently going down with a case of the Michael Vaughans.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: Ged (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 20:27

Quote:
dynamo_harrow
Ged apparently going down with a case of the Michael Vaughans.

But I never could bat. Have I missed the point? Am I failing to get the point in the right areas?

But forget all of that, importantly I confronted the usual suspect in the "Case of Lizzie's Missing Pint Villainy" and received a categorical assurance that there is no villainy involved and that Lizzie will receive her pint tomorrow.

Lizzie, given that this matter seems to be the main talking point amongst the MTWD chattering classes at Lord's this week, please confirm or deny after stumps tomorrow.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: dynamo_harrow (IP Logged)
Date: 21/08/2008 21:38

Quote:
Ged
But I never could bat. Have I missed the point? Am I failing to get the point in the right areas?

I've had a look at your pitch map - your comments are in the corridor - definitely in the right areas. However, our analysts will continue to monitor you for further outbreaks of talking in the 3rd person.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: Ged (IP Logged)
Date: 22/08/2008 06:32

Ged concedes, head hanging in shame. Ged has a lot on his mind at the moment.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: EAST END PARKER (IP Logged)
Date: 22/08/2008 08:00

I can confirm that Lizzie will be receiving her pint today as promised,as for talking on mobile phones during play''Dis Is Strictly Verboten''and the next person I see doing it will be immediately reported to The Green Jacket Team,and hopefully removed from the ground.
extremely rude and unneccessary,and any more free food vouchers on offer I'll have 'em.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: Lizzie J (IP Logged)
Date: 23/08/2008 17:30

I suppose I should let "the villian" off the hook and confirm that yes, I recieved a pint of Marstons finest yesterday.

Paul Nixon and Jim Allenby can serve as eyewitnesses as they saw this from their fine view up on the away balcony, and commented on it later.

Clearly even they found someone drinking a pint more entertaining than watching our bowling.

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Re: Portrait of the Artist As A Lord's Ton
Posted by: EAST END PARKER (IP Logged)
Date: 25/08/2008 11:36

Just to clarify,there was no ''refund''scheme in operation last Sunday at Old Trafford but merely a ticket EXCHANGE scheme for a future Lanky home game,which was of no use to Lizzie but certainly to the ''villain in question who will be taking advantage of the offer to sun himself for a couple of days at Blackpool this week.
By way of a postscript,instances of under-age drinking are on the increase at Lord's,something the authorities need to keep a close eye on in future.

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