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Middlesex Survive a 'Arrowing Time

Arrow there

By Barmy Ke and Phil Catchpole
September 11 2017

Kev and Phil report on a crazy day with a most bizzarre end where the report thank God was did not result us on fatalaties. 

Phil was the agreed reporter for today sending random texts and e-mails as day progresses. Here is his first of his few offerings.

Panic stations at the Kit Kat Oval. The large kit Kat adorning the walls of Surrey HQ look down at a struggling Middlesex batting display. All going horribly wrong here and rapidly approaching the tail end of the visitors. Have met a distant relative of William Shakespeare who is writing a book on Middlesex CCC out ground matches. It’s called much ABU about nothing.


Barmy Kev view of first session. I arrive Compo retired hurt no idea why. Later found out from back spasm while we appeared to have batting spasms.  In space of updating those not at ground Robbo caught behind from one bowler didn’t appeal for, Voges out while I’m still texting about Compo. Eski LBW that looked way down leg side.   Stirlo bowled with him in 20/20 mode.   Franco and Simmo steadied and then last over before lunch it was a feeling of doom and gloom Franco caught at slip.  


Phil Catchpole- in Hanover Arms by Oval texted to say beer going down like Middlesex wickets.


Barmy Kev after lunch with Phil presumed still at the Hangover Arms. I’m not drinking despite goblet close. I’m in Upper Pavilion depressed about where we are in this game and all season. TRJ caught and bowled and was planning an afternoon shopping trip that had been needed doing for some time. Anything please, to get me out of here. Little did I know what was to follow?

I intently watched Ollie and Simmo partnership slowly but surely taking us to a competitive situation. When Ollie out with 140 lead the game looked more balanced.  My thoughts a collapse would give Surrey a good chance but we can potentially win from a 4 an over run chase from about 40 overs with wickets falling.  Meanwhile, Compo is hobbling out as our no. 9. Meaker bowling fast bouncers at him causing more strain on his back as he was taking evasive action.  In the words of Phil Catchpole "Battle". Compo did on what was a brave rear-guard for our cause in clear discomfort.  We survived to tea.

 The final session still all 4 results possible. I had first glass of wine of day as keenly anticipating. on what may happen.     We survived first few overs this game becomes static seemingly meandering to a draw.  Cricket is a funny game, but no one expected after Simmo four off of Brothwick in perfect light a consultation that resulted in players swiftly going off. Floodlights not used, some choice words all round on how f xxxing disgraceful this was.  Many including me assumed a draw was conceded by both teams without any regard for County Cricket. There was an obligatory slow hand clap.

It was difficult to fathom out what was happening. Posh Margaret used her device to get a Kevin Hand view. The words used were play stopped due to “crowd trouble”. This was a reminder of my old days of watching QPR in the 80’s. I received text asking whether I was involved in this today. It was assumed by those in ground this was caused by upper tier of OSS stand who after lunch were getting louder and louder in a civilised way from hospitality area without any interest in cricket.   There was then a mention of a projectile thrown from this area.

It eventually became clear somehow bizzarely from outside of ground someone was able to fire what could have been a lethal arrow onto the playing area that landed in an area very close to four cricketers and umpires. It is unclear even now whether this was aimed at a target in the ground.  It could have had caused a life ending or changing moment.   Frightening thought.  Thank God it wasn’t.

 As stewards efficiently evacuated the crowd from the ground it seemed like a good time to leave and head for nearest station calmly. After a Surrey fan mentioned the lengths Middlesex go to avoid defeat, I chimed in jest I didn’t realise Cross Arrows play here.   There was a joke about that Jofra Archer made an appearance from Sussex. Humour worked well here to calm us on way out. 

 I later turned up for my walking football session and on arrival was asked by fellow players "where’s my bow an arrow"                               

 Back to the cricket perspective. Had this incident happened before an inevitable victory or thrilling finish this would have been harder to take. Draw was very likely at this point (no pun intended). On saying that the -2 over rate was still on scoreboard was still there as leaving me as a concern.

 Looking at the bigger picture. Let us be grateful no serious harm was done to any one. I trust authorities will deal with the situation as effectively as the ground staff and find the culprit.

 Humour is a valuable tool in many difficult situations. I later had a text asking whether Compo "had an apple on his head at the time". I will leave you with the words of Phil Catchpole who advised "I’ve made it safely home via Bow and Arrow on the Hill".

 Be careful out there folks!   

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Middlesex Survive a 'Arrowing Time
Middlesex till we die (IP Logged)
11/09/2017 21:24
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