Indian Cricket
The New World Order
By Kriky
March 6 2009
My last article made a mention of how PCB could very well be playing with AK47s and bullets. How I wish I was not so close to the truth. Since then the world order has changed, and here it is.
-Australia/South Africa/New Zealand/England will from now on play in any part of the world, so long as it's within Australia/SA/NZ/England. They will also form a club called SToP (Safe To Play). To earn membership into this club, one has to prove that he can sledge faster than an AK-47.
- Any game in the subcontinent will henceforth come under Adventure Sports. Along with an increase in the insurance cover premium, the following is mandatory:
- Every player will be provided with 5 commandos from the elite forces of the country of their choice. The commandos will be present in the field during play and will lie in bunkers on the field.
- Commentators shall refrain from using words like explode, blast, fire, to be replaced with other expletives that are considered unparliamentary in the SToP world.
- The participating subcontinent team shall henceforth lead the teams onto the bus, the playing field as well as into the rest rooms. See before pee will be the new mantra.
Any noise that exceeds 20 dB from the players or the spectators from the subcontinent shall be taken as a grave warning of rockets being launched. The match shall be terminated immediately.
For the subcontinent:
- Pakistan shall LeT loose teams from SWAT. They will be permitted to play any day except Sundays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Mondays, Fridays, Thursdays and Saturdays. This will definitely ensure that no one can be blasted out of the playing fields.
- Matches between India and Pakistan will be played in Sri Lanka. The motto is that if the LeT doesn't get you, LTTE must.
- For matches in India the security shall be overseen by Muthalik. This will ensure no consumption of alcohol by women and hence won't encourage drastic action from their male counterparts, and of course the stadium will be colorfully draped in pink chaddis.
- All statistics will have an extra bonus for the number of bullets avoided and bombs diffused. The word allrounder just got a new meaning.
More changes to follow depending on how many bombs are going to get hurled.
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06/03/2009 14:49
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India - World Cup winners 2011!!!
Champions Trophy winners 2013!!!
Congrats to Indian team and all Indian fans!
Nice little play on the "If Lillee doesn't get you, Thommo must" line...eh?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:03:06:18:03:08 by Birbal.
A bit of lightening up was called for, thanks for that kriky
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