By Rick Frogsspawn
May 30 2005

As controversy rages amongst disorientated Arsenal Supporters over the pros and cons of the commemorative shirt, historian Don Sheepshank has intervened with an amazing discovery.

Encouraged by a recent treasure-seeking visit to the Baghdad Museum he managed to smuggle out a sample of the 1913 shirt from the Home of Football Museum. It was indeed red currant. However he felt that something was just not quite right about the colour, and he didn’t mean fashion wise.

In hushed tones he told BBC viewers of how his suspicions had been raised. He was watching some old black and white movie footage from the "Lost World of Kenyon and Norris" when to his amazement he came across a film of Arsenal playing the first league game of 1913 at home to Leicester. Arsenal won 2-1 (spooky or what the same result as the end of last season’s unbeaten run Ed).

But even more amazing was what the film revealed. For the half time entertainment Fatty Arbuckle (Silent Film Hollywood Star, and Kevin Costner of his day) was in goal as Arsenal directors took penalties against him. (This was to raise money for the "Bring Children Back Down From Chimneys Charity" the Arsenal sponsored charity that year). Using his amazing girth "Fatty" kept a clean sheet (we could do with him now Ed). A lip reading expert deciphered that the Clock End were singing "who ate all the pies" though whether this was directed at Arbuckle or Norris was not clear.

The Arsenal Shirts Mystery

However this was not the main discovery, Sheepshank was puzzled by the colour of the Arsenal shirts, true it was black and white film, but the tone was far too pale for claret, or red currant as Arsenal directors insist on calling it, or Plum according to cruel and heartless Chelsea fans.

"How could this be?" Don mused in hushed tones, why so pale. Fortunately, to help him solve the mystery, he was able to track down the great granddaughter, Victoria, of the woman who had laundered the team kit. She watched the film, and even spotted her great granddad leaving the Clock End early, for a cup of Bovril, just before halftime. And then she began to gently sob; it was such a traumatic sight it was the last time great grandma ever worked for the Gunners, all those memories.

"Why was it the last time asked Don?" Victoria explained, maybe you have noticed but those shirts in the first game were red, not claret. "Goodness" exclaimed Don, in even more hushed tones (how does he do that? Ed), but I have a sample and its claret.

Knickers

Yes replied Victoria but it was only claret after Grandma washed the shirts. You see she had nine daughters, all playing for the Arsenal Ladies Netball team (ladies were not allowed to play football in those days), times were hard and to save money she put nine pairs of navy blue netball knickers in with the shirts. Well as any schoolboy (or girl Ed) can tell you red and dark blue mixed will produce maroon. "Ah that’s the colour I was thinking of", whispered Don.

Well times were hard, what with a new ground still to pay for, the club could not afford to replace the now maroon shirts (no swapping in those days), so the shirts stayed, but Grandma was sacked.

But this changes the whole historical record a hushed Don exclaimed. For the next game was against Wolves away, and they had to wear their Blue strip, sponsored by Fry’s Chocolate. It was not until the next home game with Notts County that the team ran out wearing claret. "Its all a big mistake" sobbed Victoria; "there there " whispered Don, passing her a BBC canteen serviette, "dry your eyes".