By Harry Gutteridge
January 25 2005

Its only a week to go to the big match – duel of the decade, contest of the century add your own ridiculous hyperbole here .........

 And good old Alex is keeping to his truce, burying the hatchet as ever, this time in Arsenal’s back. But lets ignore his wind up that the third place team who haven’t won the championship for two years are the second best team. Well actually he said one of the "top two" in Britain, (Only Britain Alex? You are far too modest). I assume he is allowing that Chelsea are better than his team. Though whether that will still be the case after they have had a good kicking at the Theatre of Nightmares remains to be seen.

Need for a song

Anyhow, that’s not the issue, it’s the need for a song to serenade the master of the mind games to celebrate his bottling it in the tunnel when Wenger raised his hands and asked Alex what he wanted to do about it. Apparently Alex didn't want to do anything. Of course Wenger got upset when Alex went running off to the Independent (It isn’t are you?) to whine. How would you feel if you had faced down the local bully, who refused to fight, and then went and complained to the local rag that you hadn’t apologised.

So to celebrate Wenger’s victory over the bruiser in the tunnel we need a song. At last year's match we sang Ruud Van Shat Himself tra la la la to celebrate his fleeing from the wrath of Keown. I suppose we could sing "Old Red Nose shat himself tra la la". Or how about (for skiffle fans to tune Battle of New Orleans) "Wenger raised his fists and Fergy went a running. He raised his fists and Fergy ran some more". Or When the Pizza Pie gets Fergy in the eye we want some more" (more pronounced moreray Italian style. "Or Souper, Souper or Pizza, Souper Arsene Wenger" (to the super Bob tune).

Of course we can sing "One Arsene Wenger" which Exeter fans sang so well in last weeks cup-tie. But we do need a song for Alex so get writing and post your composition on the message board below this. The best ones will be published as a main feature. Maybe Red Action could put a song sheet out?