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From the Frying Pan to the Fire

By Anil - 14 Oct, '02
October 14 2002

From the Frying Pan to the Fire

Oct 17, 2002, Chennai

9:30 am: Hooper wins toss, opts to bat
9:40 am: Gayle and Hinds walk out to the middle in incredibly hot and humid conditions
9:45 am: Gayle walks back, injured by a Sanjay Bangar bouncer.
9:47 am: Hinds retires hurt at non-striker's end as Shephered faints from the heat and falls on him in a heap.
9:50 am: Ganguly, fielding at backward shortleg, informs Sarwan that a poster of Aishwarya Rai has been dropped off in the Windies dressing room.
9:51 am: Sarwan "walks" to an LBW appeal off a ball pitching 1.5 feet outside leg stump. He is seen rushing back to dressing room.
10:15 am: Hooper and Chanderpaul are in a record-breaking partnership of 23 runs.
10:20 am: Hooper, suffering from heat exhaustion, is taken to hospital. He is dropped at 3 fixed points along the way.
10:23 am: Windies all out for 39 runs. Pak team celebrates in Sharjah.

10:30 am: There is a knock on the hotel room of Windies manager Ricky Skeritt. Extricating himself from under 3 Sri Lankan women, he is told that he has been fired.
10:35 am: Rev Hall in the West Indies is urgently contacted for reinforcements.
10:40 am: Brian Lara gets an SOS. Only Hall knows the terrible truth about Lara: there is no medical problem, he had opted out of the tour because he found himself unworthy to again occupy the same field as the number 1 batsman in the world Sachin Tendulkar. Lara turns him down.
10:43 am: Hall must settle for next best. Eddie Nichols and Billy Doctrove are rushed into next plane for Mumbai.

10:45 am: To spectators delight, Sehwag and Tendulkar walk out to open Indian innings. Three Windies fielders are caught sobbing openly on camera.
11:40 am: 10 overs later, India declares at 150 for no loss

12:05 pm: There is another knock on Skeritt's hotel room: he has been re-hired. As an opening batsman. 3 Sri Lankan women walk out on him.
12:45 pm: Skeritt and Richards walk out to the middle to open the innings. Skeritt retires hurt after tripping on his way to the crease.
1:30 pm: Windies all out for 21 runs.
1:40 pm: At presentation ceremony, Hooper criticizes his team's batting, bowling, fielding, wicketkeeping.
1:42 pm: Pressed to expand on the above, Hooper explains that it is all the doing of his creator.
1:45 pm: Bobby McFerrin's famous Caribbean song "Don't Worry, be Happy" blares out over loudpseaker. Slowly, the smiles return to the faces of the West Indian players, and in no time at all they are dancing and swinging, without a care in the world. Satisfied that they have given of their best, they are at peace with themselves. Until Kolkata, anyway.

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