By Nathan Jackson
August 29 2005

Another week, another A-Z. This time, it's our old friends, Oxford United, included in this A-Z is a case of verbal diarheoa. Also included is a frantic 8 minutes of injury time, a party gone quiet, a win over Manchester United, record scorelines a Milk Cup win and a grown man jumping around naked.

 

A All hell breaks loose. Lincoln's first game against Oxford at this level came in October 2001/2. Heading into injury time, it was 0-0 and looked like being yet another disappointing result for both clubs. However, in the 92nd minute, Lee Thorpe burst into the area and slotted home to make it 1-0. However, within 4seconds, Thorpe was sent off for fighting with Wayne Hatswell, who also went off. In the 98th minute, Martin Thomas was also sent walking after he apparantly elbowed Marriott in the back of the head.

 

B Brian Talbot, the man currently in charge at the Kassam Stadium after a rather unsuccessful spell with Oldham Athletic. Talbot has had success at this level before as he led Rushden and Diamonds to the Division 3 title in only the second season the club had spent in the division.

 

C Cambridge. Most Oxford fans don't give a flying **** who wins the boat race.

 

D Domiated, Oxford were dominated by the Imps in the 2 league games last season. It is not bias when I say that we could have easily gone into double figures for an aggregate score. At the Kassam Stadium, City had 4 goals disallowed, hit the woodwork twice and still somehow only managed to come away with a 1-0 win. At Sincil Bank, City came out comfortable 3-0 winners and hit the woodwork a furthur 2 times. Oxford only managed 1 decent shot on target in both games.

 

E Exciting, a word used by some Oxford fans to describe the home game with Wycombe last week which finished in a 2-2.

 

F Five, the amount of points Oxford have so far this season. Their win came in a 1-0 home win over Torquay on Tuesday night last week. It has been sandwiched with a 1-1 draw at Grimsby and a 2-2 draw with Wycombe

 

 

G Goalkeepers. Oxford have 2 highly skilled goalkeepers in Chris Tardiff and Billy Turley. Turley was signed after his release from Rushden and Diamonds due to drug related offences and is often refered to as "slick" by opposition fans because of his grease filled hair. Tardiff is a former Portsmouth and Bournemouth player before signing for Oxford just over a year ago.

 

H How they went quiet. On the final day of the 2002/3 season, City were at home to Torquay and Oxford were at home to York. The equation was simple, Oxford HAD to win and hope that Torquay beat the Imps to get into the playoffs. With 5 minutes to go, Oxford were 2-0 up against York and Torquay were beating City. There was apparantly a party going on at the Kassam Stadium but then it all went deadly quiet and news had filtered through the City had equalised against Torquay and all of a sudden, it was like a cemetary at the Kassam (apparantly)

 

I Ian Atkins. Ian Atkins is a man hated by the vast majority of people in the division. Infact, I think the only person who like him, is himself. Atkins was the manager of Oxford from the end of the 2001/2 season through to the near end of the 2003/4 season and for all intensive purposes, did a good job. Although not achieveing promotion, he did take the club close with the afformentioned near playoff campaign. They started the 2003/4 season with a run of only 1 defeat in their opening 22 games of the season.

 

However, Atkin's downfall was his love for another club. Atkins had supported Bristol Rovers from childhood and the manager's position had become available after Ray Graydon was sacked. Atkin's was strongly linked with the job and upon hearing rumours that Atkin's had travelled to Bristol to discuss the vacancy. Heroz Kassam, the Oxford chairman, suspended Atkin's off all duties. Atkin's did eventually join Bristol Rovers as manager and his first game in charge, came in a 3-1 win against Lincoln.

 

J Jefferson Louis. If you've never heard the name, you've seen the footage. Remember a few years ago when Oxford were drawn to play Arsenal in the FA Cup. He became famous by jumping around naked on live TV when the draw was made and we can only thank god that his hand didn't move.

 

K Kassam Stadium. Oxford's current ground after they moved from the Manor Ground. An impressive 3 sided ground on the outskirts of the City. The ground itself holds 12,500 and away fans are allocated a 4,000 seater stand that runs the length of the pitch, however, away fans are usually shoved into one corner of the stand.

 

L Live TV. Oxford's last appearance on Live TV came just under a year ago when they had a 1-1 draw away Wycombe.

 

M Manor Ground. Oxford's old ground. Very few football grounds will have more stands and it was arguably the worst in League football. Oxford finally left the ground in 2001. Unfortunatly, that final season, they got relegated.

 

N No other team that are currently in the division, have won the League Cup. Oxford's success came in 1986 when they beat QPR 3-0.

  

P Prat, see Ian Atkins.

 

Q Quiet, if you took away the only chant they do, "Come on Oxford", you wouldn't have any sounds left in their ground.

 

R Realistic expectations. After last season's rather disappointing finish, a lot of Oxford fans have said they would be happy with a top half finish although most are expecting a seemingly realistic chance of the playoffs.

 

S Scorelines. Notts County’s record victory was an 9-1 victory over Dorchester Town in the FA Cup in 1995. Their record defeat is a 7-0 defeat to Sunderland in a league game in 1998.

 

T Top Flight. Oxford United did spent time in the top flight of English football in the 1980's, infact, they had an impressive 3 season stint in the old First Division. One of the highlights of this time, was a 1-0 win over Manchester United, the first game of Alex Ferguson's reign at Old Trafford.

 

U Unrelenting crap. In the 90's, Oxford were crap to put it nicely. Despite getting promoted once, they suffered 2 relegations and only finished in the Top 10 thrice. There were 4 seasons where they finished below 20th and several others had poor showings in the lower midtable area.

 

V Verbal diarheoa (sp), see Ian Atkins.

 

W World, if you listen to some of the Oxford chavs, you'd believe that Oxford could beat any team in the world.

 

X X Men – No Oxford players, past or present, have any connections to the X Men movies.

 

Y Yellow, the colour of Oxford United's home kit.

 

Z Zippy, a character from the old children's TV show, that resembles Ian Atkins.