By Boris Mellor
February 8 2005

According to this morning's Sun Kenyon ducked out of a UEFA meeting at last minute notice. The Sun says that this was due to the fact that Arsenal's David Dein was there and the bluebottler did a runner.

Cole will Deny It

Meanwhile the Star claims that Cole will deny he was at the meeting. Well he would wouldn't he? Except it has taken him a few days to think of that gambit, his interview on Arsenal Plus made no mention of the meeting, or a new contract, just that he would stay for two years.

Giggsy Down at No Points Deduction

Meanwhile Giggs, or Giggsy isnt it? Small boys, jumpers for goalposts (get to the point Ed), well Giggsy sounds demoralised because he fears the League will not deduct points from Chelsea. And as we know that is the only way that Manure could win it these days. Last year ol red nose wanted points deducted from Arsenal. So if your mind games don't work just get a few points deducted.

Squeaky Bum Time

Meanwhile back at Bates Motel the new incumbents are facing squeaky bum time. Moanrhino fears that Chelsea could lose more points, so he  is practicing his excuses, too many games, its international week, nasty old northerners gave them a kicking, not enough players, transfer window too short, down to his last £100 million. Welcome to the EPL Jose, and I mean that most sincerely.

THE Glazer only calls thrice

We have all been annoyed by calls from double Glazing salesmen (or women Ed), so spare a thought for those people in Guildford who are now being called for a third time. As Gordon Gecko said in Wall Street "Greed is Good" and "Prawn sandwiches are for wimps". However some serious city analysts believe the offer is too good for many shareholders to turn down the offer. It will all swing on the Coolmore Mafia. Good to know that an Arsenal supporter might be involved in saving Man U, or not, as the case may be. So Man U fans time to stop protesting about the Coolmore boys and sending them Valentines.