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Jokes just keep on Coming


Non Comedian

By Grockle
August 11 2002

Needing 5 an over to win we manage to fail in a truly spectacular. All out for 112, a loss of over 120 with only 8 boundaries and two players over 20...another belly laugh for Somerset supporters!

v KENT NUL1 @ CANTERBURY 11 AUGUST 2002

Somebody please wake me up from this cricketing nightmare!!  Needing every point in all competitions we can get and having just scored over 300 runs against our opponents in a semi-final within the last 10 days, we should have been in with a considerable chance of taking four points here...

Their innings...

No Caddick or Johnson playing and Bowler and Wood both suffering from 'flu-like' symptoms meant we were not as confident as we probably ought to have been.   Francis and Jones returned - Jonah in particular with something to prove after losing his Championship place and with his C&G Final position in jeopardy.  Kent did not have Key because he was at Trent Bridge so Ed Smith opened with Fleming.

And it went very well for them eary on as both Bulbeck and Francis had trouble controlling the movement of the ball.  Bully went for 20 off his first 3 and Francis, although he only conceded 4 off his first two, then went for 15 off his third as Fleming cut loose.  It was therefore very good news for us when Fleming went to a snick behind off Turner for a quickfire 31 and then Hockley, and more importantly Symonds went in quick succession to Bulbeck and Jones respectively.  38 for 1 had become 58 for 3.

Some very tight bowling from the 'Keiths' (Parsons and Dutch) held back the new Kent batsmen and although Walker helped Smith put on 95, it was at a much slower rate than in the first 10 overs of the game.  Walker finally tried to push it on and succeeded in putting a high one straight down Wood's throat (he's getting better at catching these long hanging ones now)! and Nixon followed 10 minutes later also off the bowling of Dutch. 168 for 5.

Smith kept up the scoring but he finally went short of the 200 for an excellent 83 and although Ealham added 44, the final Kent total of 236 off 45 was distinctly gettable on this wicket.

Our "reply".....

A run rate of 5 an over should be meat and drink to a good one day side.  we have been told by numerous player and management spokespeople over the last 9 months that we are a strong one day outfit.  We have just come off of a very poor batting performance in the four day game and you would expect that ears were ringing and batting "spades" had been called batting "spades".   Everything should have been a lot tighter and better controlled.  Explain this then...

Bowler bowled Saggers for 2 - 6 for 1 - 8 minutes into the reply.  (He's not well and was probably feeling it). 

Wood RUN OUT for 14 - 23 for 2 - what the hell was anyone doing asking an ill opener to run quick singles at the start of a reply that did not need to go at even a run a ball?

Burns caught behind for 0 off only 5 balls 25 for 3.

Parsons caught behind for only 2 - we can probably allow him a slip as he seems to have been the backbone of our replies in recent matches!  33 for 4

Cox RUN OUT again for 14 - what the hell was the captain doing running risky singles when we were 4 down with less than 50 on the board - dispair tends to creep into supporters at this point! 41 for 5

Turner bowled Ealham for 2 - Kent must have been laughing their heads off by this time - 50 for 6

Dutch caught Symonds bowled Golding for 7 - 60 for 7 - a little behind the run rate I think.

Bulbeck bowled Golding for 5 - 71 for 8 - Somerset supporters popping down the local station for earlier trains because we weren't going to snatch this one no matter what miracles the last guys could conjure up.   Blackwell was still in but there was little to come.

Whoops - spoke too soon - Blackwell caught Jones bowled Tredwell(?) for 23 - 88 for 9

Francis and Jones at least took us over 3 figures before Francis was the last man out with 27 off 30 balls including a six and 3 of the SEVEN fours we managed to muster.

All out for ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE - that's 112 - a mere ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX RUN DEFEAT! And some people were calling our batting performance yesterday pathetic.

This plumbs new depths.  As someone on the messageboard said earlier in the week.  If we win the C&G then it could paper over the cracks in our incredibly fragile squad.  We will have won something but there is something terribly wrong in the fact that our only consistent aspect is our inconsistent batting at important times.  there are no redeeming features in this batting display.   No-one did well, no-one put up a fight, no-one on the Kent side even had to break into a sweat to beat us.  What is our target for the number of NUL games we need to win?  Forget it - if we play like this we won't even get close.

Keith Dutch's 9 overs 2 for 34 and Matt Bulbeck's 9 overs 2 for 38 need to be mentioned.  Matt especially because he was clattered in his first three overs so actually returned figures of 6 overs, 2 for 18.  Jonesy got two, admittedly for 59 and KP and Blackwell both kept up their ends with the ball.

They must all wonder what the point is. 

People are starting to ask about that batting coach again?  Is Cox safe for next year?  Get it sorted lads or it will make no difference at all!

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