Middlesex CCC
Middlesex Win Stanford Trophy By Default
Proof Positive
By Barmy Kev
March 31 2009
Barmy Kev, fresh from a revealing session in the Tavern, breaks the exclusive news that Middlesex are in fact holders of the Stanford Trophy. If the photograph to the left of this lead paragraph isn't enough evidence for you, read the wise words of Barmy Kev and you'll be in no doubt. Win, place or show, we're the winners. Spring is here, spring is here...........................
More Stanford dodgy Banks dealings earns Middlesex millions.
Following a secret drinks reception after the Seaxe Club AGM last night, Barmy Kev can exclusively reveal one of Middlesex CCC’s best guarded secrets of the winter. Middlesex were actually declared Stanford champions in Antigua.
Due to close associations between Middlesex Chairman “I Luvit” and “Sir” Allen Stanford, including a promise that Stanford would establish a ground in his name within Middlesex, the reversal of the Antigua result needed to be kept quiet.
However, now that the ECB has severed all ties with the Texan Billionaire, MTWD can reveal all that actually happened in a barmy 10 days in Antigua.
“Sir” Allen wanted Trinidad and Tobago to be seen to win the contest, in order to keep up local interest. So he decided to use his contacts in the murky world of offshore Banks. Naturally, he therefore hired West Indies prolific all-rounder Omari Banks, who was not registered to play for Trinidad. Banks replaced a registered Trinny player, who wishes to remain anonymous.
A vigilant Middlesex fan was heard chanting in this player’s direction “R U Omari in disguise?”. While this may have been perceived by many as one of many throw away chants led by Barmy Kev, match officials felt it was worth investigating and it discovered that the player actually was a dodgy Omari Banks deal. The result was therefore reversed and Middlesex pronounced winners, with all the glittering prizes and piles of cash that entailed.
Some hours after the public ceremony, Middlesex were handed the trophy at the Jolly Beach hotel, as can be seen by the headline photo of a well-known Middlesex player holding the coveted cup. Naturally, to protect his anonymity, the player wore a very cunning disguise as a fan.
The photograph we used as the message board header for several weeks was actually a cleverly disguised picture of the winner’s cheque.
The Big Easy, for example, will be so glad to see this picture again!!!!!
Although Barmy Kev had been sworn to secrecy, some members of the Middlesex committee were concerned that Kev had given game away by being in such a good mood suddenly 2 days after match, when normally it takes Kev at least a month to find the will to live after an important loss.
Barmy Kev will gladly reveal more details on this story, and indeed on the sordid details of the Antigua trip generally, to anyone who passes his way this season. Kev’s best accounts are likely to be after the tea interval; indeed the nearer to stumps the better.
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:04:04:08:22:39 by Ged.
A great piece,but i thought the information about our win was to be kept quite until first twenty/20 home game this coming season,when the team,lead by the player in the picture was going to come out with the trophy to the Abba tune of money,money,money.
ANDRE VOS/DAVID WILSON/NICK EVANS ARE HARLEQUIN LEGENDS
