Fivefer But Not Enough

By Southgate Emerald
May 2 2009

It had to be Southgate Emerald reporting from Southgate at some point. And on the day that Eoin Morgan got selected for England, who could possibly be a more suitable correspondent. SE's reports always come from some other place, but it is always a place I want to be sitting reading match reports. Many thanks, SE, your first of the season and I very much hope not the last.

There are some things in life that are certain. Amongst them but necessarily restricted to them are death and taxes. Other certainties include that Lords is without doubt the best place in the planet to watch cricket. If that is an empirical fact then the subjective ying to that objective yang is Southgate. I live near there.

It takes me 5 minutes on the W6 but I absolutely love it. I love Pat the manager (his brother married a girl I went to school with more than half a lifetime ago) I love Sagres, I love Christchurch, I love the fact that myself and oldest son and heir saw Warne score one of his only two first class tons there. I love the bacon butties and I love the fact we’re back.

With all that in mind I was really looking forward to the cricket today. We’d been set right up by a commanding batting performance (for the second time in two games – who’d a thunk it from the grim days of the previous couple of seasons) and we’d forced the follow on. I still wasn’t massively sure about the result – it was as Donald Duck Rumsfeld might have had it a known unknown. Chris Wright and some Saxelby geezer from last year loomed a bit large. We might be a wee bit light on tiger ,teeth baring mongrel bowling although I believe Evans tries his best.

Shaggy & Dan - Thanks to Haringey Racer Pic-wise

Furthermore Dipenaar and Ackerman (just rolls of the tongue like Hinge and Brackett..) were pretty much set and come the morning started off confidently until as has so often been the case an inspired burst from Timbo with three for one off eight looked like we could roll ‘em again. Unfortunately after that shock and awe burst things settled into a bit of a grind.

Taylor and Nixon came together and sprayed eau de cologne over the smell of blood. That partnership I think broke our back although AC did take Nixon’s wicket caught by the latest wickie (Simpson ? )on a saga that was starting to look like Spinal Tap for drummers. For young people that was film about a thing called rock music. Before grime. And dubstep. And twostep. And backstep. And stepladder.  [Editor's note for those same young people - Spinal Tap's drummers had a tendancy to spontaneously combust - they also always seemed to be as mad as.....as mad as......Knocker Nash?]

The only other wicket fell as the Middlesex bowlers toiled by and large manfully was that of Wayne White (who has the name to front any Bay Area rock band) to give Tim a deserved fiver fer. We can lose Joycie, Ed0 and our faith in God above but we’d be banjaxed without Timmo.

I can’t add a great deal to that – it was bit of an anticlimactic day but one I really enjoyed. I know it seems a bit ‘meh’ (as I am given to understand the kids are saying) not to roll them over but in all honesty we never looked like it.

Just after tea in the bar I heard someone say they’d draw stumps at 5 and they weren’t far wrong, That’s not to say I wasn’t disappointed although I thought we played well – I thought it was a good game of cricket. I think we have done pretty much everything I would ask of them this season so far. I’m guardedly excited about our prospects.

Eoin's Day, Call-Up-Wise

I think there is a lot to come from this team – we’ll miss some of the class acts with call-ups and we’ll struggle with inexperience but I am on record (and resolutely stand by) that I would much rather watch young turks get whaled than a disinterested and demotivated stellar team. I’ve got my wish so to speak and I submit evidence is pretty clear thus far. The energy enthusiasm and desire is apparent. The encouragement and camaraderie is almost in striking contrast to last year. With the sun out, a cold Sagres and cricket back at Southgate I cannot argue with that at all!

By way of the “I got talking to my friend and small child” aside I picked up oldest son and heir from his primary school almost opposite the Walker and bought him (in a manner that would be howlingly embarrassing were he not five) a Middlesex Crusader hat from the bargain bin for a fiver- after stumps Philip Hughes was getting a cold pop from the icey and he signed the visor of it. If he gets a skiddilion runs in the Ashes I’m putting it on Ebay. Interestingly I’m taller and fatter than Pip. Bet you didn’t think that did you dear reader…..

Anyways on to Sunday – big crowd local derby and hopefully we’ll sink enough gargle to ensure cricket at Southers for a good few years into the future.

The futures bright the future’s mauve.