By Barmy Kev
December 18 2002

Following a disasterous time warming up for the VB series England suffered more humiliation in the VB series. This is Kev's latest installment from down under... Mon 9th. After Aus A defdeat thought would chill out on Bondi beach. Weather getting warmer. Bondi, basically is Margate in disguise with the more chance of decent weather. Typically, as I was settled into "beach bum" mode, a gust of wind took over, which proved to be non temporary. Took refuge in a cinema and saw Big Fat Greek Wedding. One stage during film felt like chanting are you Gatting in disguise but thought better of it.

Tues 10th. A rain riot. It was peeing down non stop. Locals were celebrating as first rain for 5 months and suffering from droughts and forest fires. I was not impressed. Went to Jewish Museum which for personal reasons was very moving. Got back to hotel to find out England got hammered in match againts PM's X1. Overall not a good day.

Wed 11th. Stopped raining by lunch. Vistited Olympic stadium. Did "1/2" hour guided tour. Bacause of bombardment of questions from me lasted 50 minutes. Guide did say fell free to ask questions. Was fascinated how they can so easily transform rugby pitch to cricket one. The overall set up here was something else. In evening saw Mama Mia show and then went to Karoke. Sang Day Dream Believer and didn't do the BA Steve Waugh version ( or Kevin Shine / R*mps versions). Got back to hotel to see Razzaq complete his century.

Thursday 12th. Highlight climbing Sydney Harbour Bridge. It was a windy day and felt bridge wobbling. Was quiet nerve racking. , especially when German behind me was whistling " London Bridge is falling down". However overally an exhilirating experience.

Friday 13th. Ist ODI in VB series. Maybe a turn in fortunes? Hmm!. The weather was hot. The organisation better-I thing Aussies can cope better with larger than smaller crowds. Things looked good cricket wise when Tres and Knight put on century in 17 overs. Tres was out soon after followed by Whippy LBW for 0. Hussein and Knight steadied things but run rate droppped as Warne and Lehmasn put break on run rate. Nasser made half century then Blackwell was promoted but didn't make many. Ace came in at 190 for 4 with just over ten overs to go. A score close to 300 still possible. However, Ace out for 2 in deep. Always difficult time to come in. Stewie could't do much. Chalkie White put on 20 odd with Knight, but at this stage Knight was more concerned about his century than the overall score. Then on 96 he pulled up with cramp and Ace was called in as runner. 4 dot balls with three overs to go is not what you want. But Knight did make a ton. Unfortunately noone really did much. Nora Batty out first ball. 251 not really adequate total. Two fifties + one ton in innings-noone else got double figures.
This proved to be the case as Hayden/ Gilchrist reached their ton in 13 overs. At one stage going 8 an over. Kirtley/Cadick very expensive. When they were out Pointing and Martyn and then Lehman strolled to target with 5 overs to spare 7 wickets in hand. Very boring to watch the ease they got runs.
The crowd got bored so Mexican Waves, throwing beer, building chains from beer cups, bouncing beach balls and falling over and getting thrown out was the Aussies way of amusing themselves. I would love to see them trying this at Lords.

Sat 14th-Flew Sydney to Melbourne. Gus Fraser and Dereck Pringle were on plane complaining about leg room on econmy class. Had brief chat with Gus and signed my programme. I asked whether he remembered me from Hove where I chatted to him at bar and he said no. Evening pub crawl of Melbourne ended up watching English footie to early hours of morning + bit of Aussie A V Sri Lanka. Sri Lanka looked worse than us.

Sun 15th-match against Aussie at MCG. 100 degrees heat. Good start Aus batting first we get an early wicket of Hayden, brilliant catch by Whippy. Then a 225 run riot partnership Pointing and Gilchrist tremendous hitting. Both got tons. They looked like a 350 score was going to happen, but mini collapse, England stylee of 46 for 5 from last eight overs restricted score to a meagre 318. Were we going to get near this? Lost Tres early om for 6. Whippy needlessly run out for 0. Knight and Hussein got things nmoving, but by half way stage needed to maintain 7.5 an over. Once this partbnership broke up it was always catch up time. Ace made 7 and again caught hitting over the top. It would have been a 6 at Southgate. Blackwell/ White ensured some respectably by only losing by 91 runs. But you can't afford needless run outs ( 3 this time) and Rudi Koertzen not giving us any marginal decisions or obvious wides. Warne, local hero, got stretchered with dislocated shoulder. Made a change being one of theirs not us.
Similiar antics to Sydney in crowd except worse. Two streakers plus throwing of golf balls on pitch. Had England been fielding we would have been within rights to walk out. They are considering not using stadium for 1 dayers because of crowd trouble. Aussies may have best team in the world but have worst spectators who don't deserve a their team. I shall give ODI's a miss here next time, as there is more going on in crowd then on pitch and it is not much fun to watch.