By Hackneyshire
August 18 2013

Hackneyshire gives us a Glous perspective of YB40 game from the Pavillion and Warner vantage points. We hear of some bad Pav ettiquette, very bad puns and how the game unfolded in an unbiased manner.  

There was a time when Gloucestershire seemed to have a hold over Middlesex, beating them in pretty much every limited overs game they came up against each other. That all changed at Cheltenham last year, when Chris Rogers and Dawid Malan took the Gloucestershire attack apart to chase down 215 in 30 overs without losing a wicket.

It was Malan who was again Gloucestershire’s nemesis, and it was his unbeaten innings of 113 that ultimately determined the result of the game, and ensured all sorts of mathematical possibilities for semi-final qualification from Group C.

The game itself was a strange one: Middlesex’s innings seemed to meander along at a run rate of 4 or 5 an over until a brief flurry at the end, once Malan had reached his century, while Gloucestershire struggled to get going at all; at times it seemed more like a friendly than a game with a good amount riding on it.

It all started with an uncommonly smart group of Gloucestershire boys and girls arriving at Lord’s suited and booted to take in some Pavilion action. The first stop for any Gloucestershire fan arriving in the Long Room is at the portrait of William Gilbert Grace, where it is customary to pay homage in the manner of a pilgrim to a sacred site to the great Great Beard of the County.

 Homage to Glous Legend

Making our way to the top tier we encountered the Gloucestershire team leaving the dressing room, where an over enthusiastic clapping of Alex Gidman earned us a reprimand from a steward.  The stewards may have been better placed pointing out to numerous top tier occupants that taking seats mid-over is not good etiquette (when did people stop remembering that? I blame Twenty20).

On the pitch things had started well for Gloucestershire, when Craig Miles (AKA  “Mills” and “Miller” by the announcer) bowled Stirling in his first over, before rain showers interrupted play twice. Two overs were lost and when play resumed Malan and Denly moved onto a 50 partnership – not without a few scares for the latter – in the tenth over. Denly’s luck ran out soon after though as he was first bamboozled by what appeared to be more of a Jupiter than a moon ball from Benny Howell before he was caught by Klinger off the next ball for 21.  

Hovering Arond

Another fifty partnership followed with Morgan pairing up with Malan, before the IrishEnglishman was caught by Klinger off part-time bowler Chris Dent for 22 with the score on 117. The Top Tier was taking its toll by this stage – there are only so many conversations about the shocking lack of Pimms in the lower reaches of non-league football that a girl can listen to – and so we retreated to the Lower Pavilion. 

Excitement too much

From the front row we were able to watch Malan go on and on and on. Partners came and went, first Dexter, then Berg but the opener held firm and deservedly reached his century off 111 balls in the 37^th over. The milestone freed him up to play more expansive shots and he pushed his side onto 206, which you felt could be competitive on a pitch that didn’t seem the easiest for batsmen.

Malan Centrury Shot

We decamped to the Warner for the second innings, to see if the conversation of the MTWD stalwarts was better than we’d endured in the Pavilion.  Let’s just say there was a good deal more bad punning...but more of that later.

Gloucestershire’s reply got off to the worst possible start when KiwiIrishman Hamish O’Marshall hit Finn’s first ball straight to Murtagh. Then, in the following over Chris Dent sent a relatively simple caught and bowled chance back to Harris, leaving the visitors 3/2 and setting off the Barmy Kev pun machine: “That’s a Dent in the score.” 

If Malan had been the difference between the teams when batting, Finn and Harris were when bowling and both had chances to take the wicket of Klinger when he was dropped first by Denly and then by Stirling in successive overs. Neither, remarked Kev, “klung on”.  Meanwhile, Lower Pav was offering an alternative umpiring service: “That’s a wicket” was heard so many times that had the on-field umpires taken the same decisions then Gloucestershire would have been all out for 47.

Back in the real world, Klinger and Cockbain had started to rebuild for Gloucestershire and their 50 partnership came up in the 16^th over. At the 20 over mark Gloucestershire were 75/2, only 9 runs behind the home side at the same point, and the partnership was starting to look dangerous.  Just two overs on though, Berg had Cockbain caught by Finn for 30 and then in the 24^th Klinger’s luck finally ran out when he was tempted up the pitch by Patel and stumped by Simpson.

There was some resistance to the Middlesex attack from the Gloucestershire middle order, first from Gidman, who hit 19 off 20, including a six into the top tier of the Grandstand (“That’s a 12,” Lord Powell of Rangeworthy remarked) only to be out lbw next ball to Patel. Howell got in on the six act too, his largest though was only deemed a nine on the Lord Powell scale, while Roderick’s entrance to join him started a plethora of “Welease Wodewick” gags. The two of them managed partnership of 36, helped by a comedy run-out / non run-out moment when Middlesex somehow failed to dismiss either batsman, but a change of bat for Howell saw him dismissed next ball for 39, caught by Dexter off the impressive Harris, leaving Gloucestershire 159/7.

After Howell’s departure there was little hope left for the visitors, although David Payne did cause some entertainment with one of the worst attempts ever at the Turner-scoop (forget Dilshan, Somerset’s Robbie Turner was doing it years before him) before Woderwick was finally weleased for 13 by a Berg catch of Roland-Jones with two balls left. Mills/Miller/Miles and Payne saw off the last two balls but Gloucestershire’s 186 was 19 runs (D/L) short. Group C is once again, wide open…

Wodders Weddy to Wun Wiot