By Barmy Kev
December 4 2003

Having watched latest sky coverage has bought back memories of my 3-week tour 2001 to Sri Lanka. Not only were their great cricketing moments, there were some amusing anecdotes of an amazing tour.

I booked my time off and flight, way in advance and thought I could safely book my accommodation month before arrival for the Kandy test. It was worrying everywhere in guidebook was fully booked. After a week of trying my about 20th attempt was successful. I never received any formal confirmation, but embarked an 11-hour flight a four-hour cab ride (at a cost of £20 between 4) to arrive early hours of morning to the hotel. At reception I said my full name and was met with blank response. I remonstrated and was worried would be homeless here for a week. Eventually man says "ah you Mr Kevin", phew was booked. It later transpired booking difficulties were due to big sports travel companies making block bookings and later releasing places.

My first impression of Sri Lanka roads was 5 unmarked lanes of traffic going in all directions, consisting of vehicles from wide lorries, tuck tucks (like rickshaws) and animal driven carts. The Highway Code consisted of non-stop hooting. The tuck tucks were the only practical means to get from A to B, and the fun was negotiating a cheap ride between 20 and 50p which is the difference between feeding a family or not. Any such ride is roller coaster where you are really taking your life in your hands.

Got to the ground at Kandy, which is effectively a school playing field and bought my 40p ticket from shed and what an amazing 5 days of cricket lay ahead. The first positive sign was beer for 30p. Needed to be drunk quickly in heat. Because of cheap regular rounds challenge keeping up. Watched most of the game from a makeshift stand that was falling to bits, but we used debris as cricket bat for interval games.

The cricket on pitch had everything. We went into the game 1-0 down having lost by innings at Galle, albeit thanks to dodgy umpiring. This match we got off to a good start with 4 early wickets to then see a 150+ stand between Jawawardene and Arnold. Just when the match was drifting away Gough ripped through the tail, bowling SL for 297. Those who left 1/2hr early were regretting it. Our excellent response was based on some very favourable umpiring decisions. Nasser Hussein made a ton after a run of poor form, although was clearly out bat pad twice. The other feature was Hick's painful 11 ball duck. He was given not out from a clear caught and balled and survived a plum LBW. Hick 0 for 3. This was to be his last test match (paved the way for Vaughan). We made 387. This lead was made better by four early SL wickets. This day 3 was Poya Day a holy Buddhist festival and drink and meat was banned from the ground. I have never had so many ice-lollies in my life at cricket. But the main talking point was Jayasuiriya's dismissal. Thorpe made a spectacular catch at third slip. The third umpire adjudged yes he caught it cleanly. The batsman remained unmoved. Replays showed that the ball had actually been hit into the ground first. There was a nasty exchanged involving Atherton and evidently the local glaziers had some work to do in SL dressing room. Going to day 4 this match was as good as won, until a 6-wicket century stand between Sangakkara and Dharmensa and further late order resistance gave us a 161 target. We lost both our openers cheaply overnight too and with our tail starting at 6 (Hick) this target was not a formality. Fortunately we built useful partnerships - Hick even made 16- and every single applauded. Unbelievably at lunch 9 required, 7 wickets down Chalky White and Giles in-Caddick and Gough to follow. Longest 40 minutes of my life. Murali was bowling and we were under a complete stranglehold we couldn't score. Then Giles calls a risky single; he looks clearly out referred to third umpire given not out. It was only later I realised the keeper knocked over stumps with hands not ball-well spotted. We managed to grind out the runs for a tense win.

Could anything match the drama of Kandy at Colombo? First blow was the price of beer had been put up to 40p. However, this was served by kid vendors roaming round with their Lion beer barrels on their back. Introduce this facility at Lords?

Promising start as we bowled them out for 241. By end of day two we were close to their target with 6 wickets left. Day 3 incredible, firstly half-hours delay due to dew (only dew can save Sri Lanka now). The pitch was doing all sorts of strange things and we capitulated and only a last wicket stand of 50 by Gough and Thorpe who made 113 gave us a slender 8 run lead. Incredibly, we bowled them out for 81 with Giles (yes Giles) destroying them with 4-13. So you would think we'd get 84 runs easily. Hmmm. We were rapidly losing wickets but Thorpe and Croft held firm with Thorpe getting winning runs for a 4-wicket victory.

Celebration immense. Spontaneously the Barmy Army invaded pitch despite the pointed railings on fence. In my excitement and in my scantily clad shorts I got caught in a painful place. England winning numbed my pain, but luckily a helpful man rescued me helping me with some delicate movements. Sir, me and my girlfriend are indebted to you.

The celebrations afterwards were immense. One great scene was Darren Gough leading the singing in a hotel bar. The same day India beat the Aussies 2-1 in India. "The Ashes are coming home" chants perhaps a bit premature.

Stayed on for the 1-day series. They decided to move the first game from Colombo to Dambulla, in a newly built stadium in the jungle. I chose not to do the 10-hour round trip and watched the match in an air-conditioned bar. I made the right decision as England got humiliated. On top of this reports said the ground building work was not complete. I heard all sorts of horror stories on peoples return and the words "hell on earth" seemed quite appropriate. My experience was a lot more pleasurable. I took my place at a hotel bar. Seeing as I was going to be there all-day and thought I may have company, ordered a pitcher (4 pints) of beer. I was thirsty and demolished this on my own in 2 hours. Saw a sign for happy hour between 1-3pm so thought no harm in ordering another pitcher for half price. Later two jugs arrived, my quizzical look received response 2 for price of 1. Certainly a deceptive sign but rather than moan, I did manage to consume the other 2 and England's defeat is not so depressing after 12 pints drank with consummate ease.

The next two 1 dayers were just further humiliation. The crowds were bigger and more hostile. The locals smuggled in arrak (local) spirit and the atmosphere was unsavoury. The first match I had to contend with a Sri Lankan having great pleasure out of deliberately standing in front of me. There was close to a non-conducive to cricket ugly scene. The next match having been 0-2 in first over, not recovering we lost by ten wickets. Given my seat was next to a very very loud drummer and I couldn't move, I made another early exit, where I enjoyed the match with fellow fans in a nearby Irish Bar (well a Sri Lankan one but had a Shamrock on wall and sold imported Guinness).

Having witnessed a great test series win didn't let the 1-day disappointment spoil things. The last night was great. There was some posh MCC do going on at our hotel-amazingly we were not invited. However, a group of us having a few farewell Sherries were on periphery decided to make our own cricket related words to the contemporary songs. I recall to " Never promised you a Rose Garden", something referring to Richard Harden (ex Yorks, Somerset) and the "leaving on a Jet Plane was an amusing Mark Alleyne (who's only role was drinks carrier and wicket keeper in friendly and my Glous chums were not amused) rendition.

It has to be said this tour was my most memorable ever mainly for cricket reasons but the whole experience was something else. Watching live pictures on TV seeing familiar faces makes me very nostalgic.

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A few months later that year 5 English Cricketers considered refusing to go to India for secruity fears. The Mirror published a story critising them and saying how the Barmy Army would be there no matter what. To accompany this article they used a picture of a member of the Barmy Army. So guess who appeared in his Middlesex shirt?