A Ton of Pain


2nd class ton

By Beefy Roberts
May 18 2010

Beefy reports on a painful day. It started with a very slow train journey which set the tone for day. The day is brightened up by a new off field addition to the Sorry team and new food outlet and some behind the scenes humour. Read on if you can stomach this one

Its a bright,sunny morning in West London, I do my last checks before heading South of the river as its that time of year again,we have got to visit the Gasworks Stadium.
 
Meeting Kimmy and Lower Pav outside Hoval station at 10.30 and as I travel in, I think about seeing Runsforcash in the Middx room yesterday with Paul Weekes,and about our selections for the day.  The train is taking ages today,slow,slow all the way,and dont want to leave Kimmy outside the station waiting, I even miss my changeover station as I'm reading the paper,it's going to be one of those days I thought.
 
Meet LP at Waterloo Stn,and at Hoval station,Kimmy waiting outside reading the paper,we get in to find out Slurrey have won the toss and batting,within 10 minutes,before the game has started LP has lost his ticket.
 
Shaggy leads the lads down the steps,Dexter with a seriously short haircut (Kimmy noticed that first). Murts takes 1st over from the Vauxhall end,Finn from the Pavilion end. LP is still trying to find his ticket,Kimmy empties his bag to see if he put it in there,no,its gone for good we decided.
 
With good bowling Slurrey are 0-0 after 2 overs,we hope this isnt the start of a long day.With 7 overs gone,its only 4 without loss.
 
Big black clouds are all around us,well,we are South of the river! And,under the flightpath as the planes start to come in at the usual frequancy.
 
Then,the first sighting of the Gasworks new mascot...................A fox,Fox goes for a morning stroll,around the boundary rope,across the field of play,some players are chasing it off. 36 minutes into the innings,Slurrey fans cheers as the 1st boundary is hit, but only 8 without loss and we still have Finn and Murts bowling.
 
The first drops of rain arrive,so does the first wicket,Evans bowled by Murts,its 12-1.Now ' he ' comes into bat,at 18-1,the rain gets heavier and the players come off,covers on,we shelter at the back of the stand.
 
We start to discuss the new mascot,a Slurrey member tells us they think 5 foxes are living by the Gas holder,he tells us that the foxes use the ground for pigeon catching,and they also use it for a toilet,he moans about it,i laugh under my breath!
 
Play resumes at 12.10 and as the players come out,so does Fox,a quick walk,fox disappears over the rope and has gone.
 
Back in play its 24-1,and we are still using Murts and Finn. LP is still looking for his ticket!
 
First bowling change,Berg from Vauxhall end,Collins pavilion end,with 18 overs gone,its 36-1 a slow morning. An appeal for a catch by Strauss off of 'him ' ,whole team goes up,umpire unmoved but I thought I heard something,still,umpire knows best(?) . At lunch its 46-1,we visit the bar,a pint for LP and myself,Kimmy a wine. LP buys these to celebrate Chelsea winning a cup or two, in the bar we overhear a few saying that ' he ' was out,but,same old thing. We say that's all we need,' he ' will probably get a score now.
 
After lunch,Kimmy and myself go via a new food outlet in the ground,a fresh shellfish bar. We decide to try some fish,Kimmy cockles,myself Whelks.Chatting to the guy who runs it,he says it a new idea,but has started well. We both look at the vast selection,the owner then offers us an oyster each,on the house,yes please we say,Kimmy said will I buy a bottle of champagne to have with it.Champagne stayed behind the bar. As we leave, I decide to get a pot of Jellied Eels to take back to my seat.
 
Half an hour into the afternoon session,Slurrey put on 10 runs,its going slower,and slower.
 
Fox comes back,another quick run across the field,he sits down for a rest,maybe watching the game?Gets chased off again.
 

 
The total reaches 64-1,hard going now.
 
Shaggy asks 2 people to sit down in pavilion,the sit down,get up,sit down,no idea what they are doing,Shaggy shouts something like " there's a game of cricket here " I didnt hear him,Kimmy/LP both heard it!
 
As the score reaches 91-1,even the fox has given up and gone,for a kip Kimmy said before tonight hunting around the Gasworks stadium.
The Slurrey mob applaud as they reach 101-1,then a wicket its 101-2 a Shaggy wicket, I missed it,as usual I was in the toilet, I just keep on  missing them!
 
On to 108-2,' he ' is now on 50,that not given catch earlier is beginning to catch up on us. Its creaped up to 129-2, its 15.20 and still 48 overs to go,going to be a late finish.It gets cool,Kimmy puts her gloves on,10-15 mins later,warms up,gloves off,coats off,and LP takes coat off to show his MTWD tshirt. It's 135-2,we are trying all bowling options to try for that wicket,still no luck,142-2 off 52 overs, I then doze off,as its so exciting,Kimmy gives me a poke to wake up!,150 on the board for Slurrey. LP then dozes off,but soon gets woken up by Kimmy,We all say these two batting are in for the long haul,Tea arrives with the score on 172-2.
 
We decide to revisit the bar for a tea pint/wine,on getting back to our seats after,we realise a wicket has been taken,I missed another one! It's our first point of the day,they Slurrey reach 202-3,their first point as well. Shaggy comes off for a while,he was looking bit shaky,but i missed what happened (Yea,i know,its just not good enough).' he ' is on 96,LP goes to the toilet as he just doesnt want to see ' him ' get his ton,none of us do really. We say,do anythinh,just stop ' him ' from getting it. Newman sprints off the field,running in the direction of the groundsmans area,use the toilet,maybe.?.' He ' then gets his 100,the ground applauds him,the Middle faithfull stay seated and don't move. LP said he would rather paint his house than watch him bat,Kimmy thought he said paint something else, I wont be rude,but you sit on it!
 
Comment written by Kimmy.....................she puts" Beefy refuses to do anymore reporting today,are you BA in disguise?"
 
Suddenly,to our left two Slurrey fans sit down,continuous chatting for ' come on Surrey' and ' England, England' they kept getting asked to turn the volume down by a steward,they do slowly move off,but we christened the loudest one the Slurrey Chimp.
 
We take the new ball after 87 overs,and last ball of the day Shaggy takes his third wicket and finished with 3-58,the catch by Bergy,to Kimmy's pleasure.
 
As the players leave,' he ' walks off to everyone standing to applaud,we just stay seated,ignore him and carry on chatting.
 
So,lets hope those who go tomorrow have a better day,and if you go,try the shellfish bar,its wonderful!
 
 
 
 

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A Ton of Pain
Discussion started by Middlesex till we die , 18/05/2010 00:56
Middlesex till we die
18/05/2010 00:56
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010:05:22:12:05:00 by Ged.

kimmy
18/05/2010 06:52
Zzzz... Sorry I was asleep... Oh no that was you and LP!

It was just like the old days of cricket yesterday so well done on the report!


For those who are going the rest of the week... good luck and try to stay awake!!

Kimmy

Jonathan Winsky
18/05/2010 09:33
Sorry/Slurry
Gasworks/Hovel (personally, I think the word 'hovel' bears more resemblance to the name 'Hove' than 'Oval')
He/him/Runs For Cash or the many variations on that term

If this site had just one term for the name of Surrey, the name of The Oval and the name of Mark Ramprakash then I would probably use the term, but there are so many terms I just give up and use the proper names.

http://www.hof.org.uk/showthread.php?t=2403&p=19514&viewfull=1#post19514

Click here to read why I sensationally sacrificed the big bucks of Chelsea for the adventure of Watford

http://uk.sitestat.com/ecb/ecb-website/s?home.stats.premier_leagues.page.network.sites.middlesex&category=not_logged_in&ns_type=clickout&ns_url=http://bit.ly/4YsurZ------------------ -http://uk.sitestat.com/ecb/ecb-website/s?home.stats.premier_leagues.page.network.sites.middlesex&category=not_logged_in&ns_type=clickout&ns_url=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/7f/Metropolitan_Line_Heraldry_white_bg.JPG/180px-Metropolitan_Line_Heraldry_white_bg.JPG

(image on left not representative of how relative my support of Watford is to my support of Middlesex)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010:05:18:15:53:56 by Jonathan Winsky.

Sussex Seaxe
18/05/2010 09:44
Great report Beefy. I too dozed a bit but became very excited whenever the fox appeared.

Mr. Trellis
18/05/2010 11:53
So Beefy, the big question:-

Did LP find his ticket? I think we should be told.

BeefyRoberts
18/05/2010 17:56
Well,i was going to leave you to guess about the ticket.The answer is..........no its still lost!!

Jeff Coleman
18/05/2010 18:47
Yes, but was it his train ticket, match ticket or his ticket to the next meeting of the Ramps Appreciation Society.

lower pavilion
20/05/2010 12:51
As my computer is up and running.

I can now reveal that the ticket was never found.

Great report as always Beefy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2010:05:20:12:51:43 by lower pavilion.

Mr. Trellis
20/05/2010 13:10
Match ticket, theatre ticket, train ticket, Mensa meeting ticket, library ticket .....?

lower pavilion
20/05/2010 16:38
Mr Trellis.

Match Ticket.I am afraid to say, I am constantly losing things.

Old age is creeping up on me fast.

Mr. Trellis
20/05/2010 19:23
Yes, it happens to us all unfortunately lp.

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