From Zero to Hero

By Pantherlike
December 1 2010

Our MTWD Aussie correspondent Pantherlike gives a full report on all days of Gabba test. He relives unbiasedly the Aussie and Middlesex highs and touches on Englands fightback at end, with an excellent summary of major landmarks.  This a must read report. 

First Test:  Australia v England, Gabba Nov 25 – 29 2010

England 260 (Bell 76, Cook 67, Siddle 6/54) and 1/517 (Cook – loads! (235no), Trott 135no, Strauss 110, North 1/47)

Australia 481 (Hussey 195, Haddin 136, Finn 6/125) and 1/107 (Ponting 51no)

You’ll have to forgive the verbosity, but this is a test match report after all…

Day 1

I’d waited for months.  Heck, we all had.  It had finally arrived.  Day 1 of the 2010/11 Ashes series.  A chance finally for Australian supremacy to be rediscovered.  And with the first test at that insurmountable fortress, the Gabba where Australia hadn’t lost a test since 1988 and who was going to think otherwise.  Well, England for one, but we’ll get to that. 

Woke up before the crack of dawn and got myself over to Tullamarine Airport, Melbourne for the red-eye to Brisvegas.  Shared the flight with one AR Border, (readers might remember he was the victorious skipper in the 1989 Ashes Series – ah, happy days!) which started the day off just nicely.  It was going to be good day – you could feel it!

Upon landing, had the chance to bunk in for a cab ride with the great man, passed up the opportunity, one just doesn’t get in the way of Aussie Royalty now does one…so I made do with a train/bus combo to get me to the Ground.  Sat just around from the Stanley St end just in time for Hilf to start the day at the England and Middlesex skipper Andrew Strauss.  Strauss had just a little bit earlier finally broken Punter’s run of 10 or so consecutive tosses won.  He decided to bat, but really, with the overcast conditions with good looking flattish track, it did seem like a good toss to lose.

Straussy had been pretty vocal during the past few weeks about getting into the Australian bowling, mostly in rebuttal to a fired up Mitchell Johnson yapping about bouncers (just save it for on the field Mitch…) had after a cursory two-ball look at the young Tasmanian seamer decided the third ball of that first over was going to be time to make it clear his intentions and THE statement on the series.  Hilf though, had found a little late swing with the new nut and Strauss, flashing hard, could only find gully where Mr Cricket proudly displayed his new found catching form (where was it India Huss?).  England 1-0 (you’ll have to forgive the flagrant usage of Australian scoring system in this report, I’m at home now!).

Albert, nay, Jonathan Trott was next in and he showed the crowd that he had come to party.  He looked extremely comfortable against all the bowlers, so it came as a bit of a surprise to most of us when Watson found a tiny gap between bat and pad and rattled his castle.  England 2-fer and Australia with its nose in front in the first session.  Next in KP.

Now KP ain’t no shrinking violet and despite being bereft of any runs at all for some months, took it to the Aussies, who it might be noted probably tried to capitalise a little to quickly with the attacking fields/lines and KP was on 20 before you knew it.  A partnership was taking flight.  Cook on the other hand seemed to be somewhere between Boycott and Tavare with equal parts determination, stodginess and inelegance.  He was hardly moving, but was stumping up his end on an overcast Brisbane day with the new ball doing enough to be a pest.  He was rightly placing a very high price on his wicket.  This was the Ashes after all.

Restarting after lunch, England kept its momentum.  The unnecessary breakthrough of Pietersen and Collingwood soon thereafter (England momentarily tottering at 4-fer) refound its rhythm due Ian Bell who it must be said is in sparkling touch.

The locals in the outer were getting a bit weary, and a bit more worried as England worked, nudged and occasionally whacked its way to 4-197 making the Australian bowling look a tad pedestrian.  Something was needed.  Someone needed to step up.  But who?  Enter the only Victorian in the game:  Peter Siddle.

Now, most will be aware that Siddle’s selection was somewhat of a controversial call.  Many thought Dougie Bollinger would have gotten the nod, but that would have meant that, alongside Johnson and debutant X, the home side would have gone into the game with three left armers:  what a sorry sight that would have been!  No, Siddle was a better fit.  He just needed to perform. 

And perform he did.  He’d looked the man most likely the whole day and already had two English scalps for the day.  With his third ball of one over though, he finally had Cook doing what Cook does best:  hanging the bat outside off peg for an edge.  Watson did his best to grass it, but the dang thing stuck and finally a partnership that looked like it could go anywhere was done.  England 5/197 and Cook leaving the field for 67 after four and a half hours at the crease.

Siddle wasn’t done though.  The next man in, keeper Prior, only fleetingly had time to see a crowd-pepped Siddle coming at him and first ball cannoned off his pads and into the off stump.  Siddle too quick, too good.  England 6/197.  Sidds on a hat-trick.  Could he do it?  There’d only been one other Aussie hat-trick in Ashes history; taken by one SK Warne.  The radio commentators too were all having kittens, thinking Siddle would have to wait till his next over for the chance; he’d only bowled four balls in the over!

Stuart Broad must’ve been still trying to decide which shirt to wear when Prior fell as he very nearly became the first test batsman in test cricket to be timed out.  He needed his full two minutes to get to the crease (I timed it!  Really two minutes does seem an eternity at times).  A little flustered with his tardiness he tried to flick to leg a straight yorker from Siddle but missed it and was struck on the foot.  The whole country appealed.  Aleem Dar too seemed brim full of hope for a hat-trick and had just about gone up with the Aussies, hardly waiting to show Broad the print on his index finger and thus anointing Siddle a life member of the Gabba and Australian cricket immortality.  Now Broad (who’s got a bit of the pantomime in him and does have a history on not wanting to walk even when caught at mid wicket) asked the number one ump in the world to go upstairs for a second opinion.  Aleem was incensed but had to comply, really it was like getting a second medical opinion for a cold and Broad was soon confirmed as out.  Another hat-trick by a Victorian bowler!  Oh the joy!  Even the barmy Army stood and applauded!  What a Day!

Got to say, the rest of the day’s play skated by after that.  Might have been something to do with the dozen or so XXXX Gold’s consumed, but it was definitely noted that Bell looked in great touch.  Running out of partners though, Bell tried to loft Doherty, but only found Mr Cricket in the out field giving X his first test wicket.  Well done son.

Jimmy Andersen then provided the day’s comic relief with an audacious reverse sweep:  that actually worked, for four bikkies.  Doherty had him bowled later that over as Andersen really channelling the ghost of KP now (and the guy was still alive and watching from the pavilion) tried some new sort of all or nothing slog towards New Zealand.

England all out 260.   Advantage Australia.  Giddyup!  The flight home was very satisfying – we were on our way to 1-up for sure!

Day 2

Sunnier conditions greeted the players.  After Watto and Kato (we really do come up with some lame nicknames) saw out the final throes of day 1, including slapping Swann for ten in the last over of the day, the pair resumed and set about building a decent opening stand.

And build they did.  51 further runs were added to the overnight score of 27 setting up the Australian innings, before Watto found Strauss at slip off the bowling of Jimmy.  Andersen really had been the pick of the England bowlers and deserved a break through.

That started a mini top order collapse.  Punter (10) and Pup (9) both fell, Clarke looking particularly out of touch giving Swann some much needed time and space to find some length.  Swann’s first four overs had cost thirty-four, but the next six, just four.   Clarke’s dismissal was of particular interest to readers of this site as it marked Finn’s first wicket in an Ashes and on Australian soil.  With Clarke gone and North quickly following him (was hardly noticed!) Australia was suddenly teetering at 5/143 and heading towards an embarrassing first innings deficit after the opening day heroics.  Something, anything was needed yet again:  Enter Mr Cricket and BJ Haddon.

Hussey and Haddin were superb.  Having lost the middle order in a way that reminded one of  a Sunday Gentleman’s XI collapse, the two came together and ground out the next session, the Aussies 5/220 at stumps with Hussey starting to find some touch on 81.

Day 3

The two Australian batsmen started the day in a flurry, and lifted the scoring rate.  By the middle of the day, they had been at the crease for a day and had accumulated the incredible partnership of 307, I think the highest for Australia at the ground (you may check that one) surpassing McCabe and other back in the forties-ish…

The departure of Haddin for 136 (booked his ticket for the remainder of the series) was a bit of a watershed for the Huss-man who tried to step up the run rate before falling on his sword courtesy of the Middlesex destroyer Finn.  Hussey will have to try harder.  Another start uncapitalised upon, he was dismissed for a modest 195…

Big Blue (Finn – you need to read the book…) then set about clearing up the rest of the Australian batting, finishing with a most impressive 6/125 from 33.4 overs, despite not being England’s best bowler, anybody who saw the day said Andersen kept that honour, and the lad admirably admitted same himself, saying that he had gotten some soft wickets.  The scorebook though isn’t a picture book.  It just says 6-fer.   Well done Finny – you made the Middlesex faithful proud!

Day 4 and 5

After the dismissal of the Aussies, England batted again.  Despite a confident shout to have skipper Strauss trapped leg before for a pair and set the Aussies on their way first ball, only to be cruelly denied, there really wasn’t much more to say about the game, as it petered out to a bland, banal and somewhat rather boring draw….

Hmmm, well I don’t think I’ll get away with that now will I!

With England’s finishing off of the Aussies and having survived a lively fifty minutes though to stumps, skipper Strauss and that rather dashing looking lad from Essex set about eeking out a draw.  Could England stave off an innings defeat?  Only time would tell…

Siddle was primed and ready, Hilf able, Doherty pepped and ready, and Mitchell?  Well, Mitch just looked like that inept pool cleaner character from one of those, um, comedy-dramas for grown-ups…with similar accuracy…

But try as they might, the England openers weren’t going anyway, first laying the foundation of a solid run chase, and soon after passing the hundred mark, and a couple of hotels on the pitch and were collecting rent payments from Mitch.  Strauss was imperious, backing up the first innings aberration with an incredible 142.  That notable all-rounder, Marcus North (even more notably the innings’ first change bowler), who was needed to finally break up the partnership at 178, but only after Strauss had tried to storm the bowler’s castle only to find himself out of his ground, and stumped…

Cook was then joined by Trott (no relation to Albert) and the two batted and batted and batted and, batted.  Australian memories were drawn to f the Laxman/Dravid partnership in India in 2001.  It made for stomach churning stuff as they just kept going and going and going.  But then finally a breakthrough!  That very merciful skipper of yours Strauss decided to declare!  Australia rejoiced!  It was over!

By the time stumps were drawn, England’s hopes of taking some cheap and easy wickets were dashed, although they did get Katich, as Punter and Watto saw things to the end.

The result has forced the Australian selectors to focus their thinking a little more, only a 13 man squad for Adelaide compared with the 17 strong squad for Brisbane.  Would’ve been 18, only I was already booked to play sub-district vets here in Melbourne!

So those infernal misinformed whingers (you know the type) no doubt have yet another example of a dull five day cricket match ending in another dull and utterly boring draw.  And it’s true the game was indeed a draw.  But shall we, in the case of the defence, produce our own exhibits of rebuttal?

• Siddle’s hat-trick on day 1.  Made me hoarse.  Even the Barmy Army stood and applauded.  Only the second Australian Ashes Hat-trick I think in the last hundred years.
• Hussey and Haddin’s 307 stand was a record for Australia at the ground.
• The unthinkable happened:  Alistair Cook’s 235no surpassed the Don as the highest scorer in an innings at the Gabba
• Cook and Trott’s mammoth partnership (329) was a record stand for England
• I think it’s only the fourth time in test cricket that there’s been two 300+ run partnerships….I’ll have to get my mates at the ACS on to that one.
• Can’t remember having seen the first three English batsmen get hundreds before.  I think Sri Lanka managed the feat a few years back, and I do remember India doing it some time in the 80’s
• Finn’s 6 wicket haul first game on Aussie soil.  This little soldier feels vindicated already!  What a prospect!
• It’s the first time Mitch Johnson has gone without a wicket in a test.
• Marcus North took as many wickets as he made runs = 1
• Andrew Strauss, on a pair mind you, became just the fourth English captain to score a ton in the first test of an Ashes series.  Fifteen Aussies have achieved the feat…
• Andrew Strauss was also England’s lowest scorer in both innings!
• Ponting passed 50 for the 96^th time in test cricket.  Only one player has done it 100 times…..now I wonder who that might be??
• And most importantly the Middlesex boys shone.  Surely there’s a case now to drop that Slurry hack Pietersen and get Morgan into the XI as well?

So if that’s a boring draw, I’ll take one any day!

And lastly, if all that’s just been too much hot air from an Australian who ought to know better, then here’s an elegant conclusion on the last day’s efforts from an English friend of mine:

 I'm disappointed by the lack of Ozzie spirit in that there was no attempted baiting of the English after the first innings.  Unfortunately, because of that wholly un-Australian restraint, I am unable to comment further on the overall quality of Mitchell Johnson's performance; the fact that a certain Mr Bradman has been relegated behind a Doe-eyed lefty witha penchant for the "away-from-the-body" waft; and the ancient Australian tradition, not seen since the heady days of the 1980s, of insisting on bouncing the ball on the ground when fielding, in the clear misapprehension that they are playing Aussie rules.  I'm surprised that the aforementioned Mr Johnson didn't try and punt the ball into the crowd.  The only familiar sight was of the Australian captain complaining to the umpires, the tears welling up inside those George W eyes, and the bottom lip tremoring with indignation - "I am not a cheat" he lied.

Bring on Adelaide!  Prediction:  A result.  Don't know which way, but I'm not one for forecasting drawn matches...