By Big Harvey
July 11 2013

Big Harvey reports on day at ground he clearly does not like, why Barmy Kev maybe to blame if we lose and a full account of cricket highlights

One of the joys of watching County Championship cricket at out grounds is the sense of occasion experienced by spectators and I'm sure players too. This is not merely due to the change of scenery, but the effort that the organisers go to in order to make people want to come. There are usually temporary stands to give a better view of the game, at least one beer tent, selling interesting beers and ciders, food stalls to make you want to put that diet temporarily on hold, and quality ice cream produced by local artisans. Add to that the freedom to perambulate on the outfield during intervals and you have a recipe for a great day – or even four days - in which to gather as cricket lovers and revel in the delights of our unique and wonderful sport.

Unfortunately this game is being played at Uxbridge, which is about as far removed from my idyllic portrayal of out ground County Championship cricket as it's possible to get. Apparently Bore-wickshire were not too happy about coming here for the second year running. They are reigning County Champions after all! However, if (like me) you were unfortunate enough to endure their cynical and negative display here last season, you might just see it as karma. I can't claim to be a great believer in karma, although I have to admit that a belief system that allows one to genuinely hope that Bore-wickshire's coach of last season Ashley Giles could one day be reborn as something appropriately dull, like a sloth, or maybe a barnacle, is a tempting and comforting one indeed! 

Middlesex began the day on 177/4, 309 runs in arrears of the Bores' first innings total with the ball 40 overs old. Steady and untroubled progress was made until Barmy Kev arrived in Vermin Corner, precipitating a collapse. Simmo (63) fell LBW to Jeetan Patel the ball after surviving an even bigger shout. He at least has the consolation of knowing that his partnership with Adam Voges is a new club record for a 5^th wicket partnership v Warwicks.

The next ball (bowled by Barker) was nudged for a single by Voges to bring up his hundred and putting The Iceman on strike, who promptly fell first ball, caught behind. 209/6. 

Ollie (10) was next to fall, brilliantly caught by Barker at short mid wicket off Patel. 224/7, and just 3 more runs had been added when TRJ (0) joined the procession, slashing horribly to Chopra at first slip. He had never looked comfortable, but the requirement at that stage was not to look comfortable, but to stay put and keep Adam Voges company.

Lower Pavilion returned from behind the bowler's arm spitting feathers and claiming Barker should have been taken off for running on the pitch. He suggested the player may have already been warned twice by the umpire, but we never saw any of that in Vermin Corner, so I can't really verify it. 

Voges did a very good job of keeping the strike without lapsing into negativity. Shot of the morning session came when he strode down the pitch to Jeetan Patel and launched it over the bowler's head for 6. Barmy Kev rated his straight driven 4 off Rankin in the next over as even better. Ravi Patel was doing a fine job supporting Voges, and by lunch the partnership had passed 50 with the score on 278/8 with Voges on 141 and Ravi on 13.

Instead of my usual trip to Sainsbury's, normally the only choice for hungry cricket fans at Uxbridge not wanting the kind of very limited food of the standard commonly found at  Combined Counties League football grounds,  I headed over to the pink Cura breast cancer charity tea tent for lunch. This tent provided the only catering in the ground for spectators other than the clubhouse and the solitary ice cream van. It was a welcome addition that would have gone down well on the better attended days 1 and 2 had it been present then. 

After lunch, the good progress continued until in successive deliveries Voges brought up his 150, Ravi passed his highest 1^st class score of 21, and sadly Voges (150) was caught and bowled by Jeetan Patel with Middlesex still needing one more for the next batting point. That target was duly reached with a Colly boundary 2 balls later.

Unfortunately any hopes we may have had of avoiding the follow on were brought to an end when Colly (5) fell victim to another blinding catch, this time by Jeetan at mid off. 309 all out, with the main difference between the two sides in the first innings being Bore-wickshire's far superior fielding. They literally didn't drop a single catch, whereas we shelled a hatful of chances. 

As the players came off, Bore-wickshire coach Dougie Brown happened to be walking past and asked Barmy Kev what he would do. Kev replied that he would enforce the follow-on, and the Bores surprisingly obliged! Perhaps Ashley Giles' departure has led to a change in culture, because this by their standards looked like a surprisingly positive decision. Whatever the case, if we lose, Kev is to blame.

The second innings, following on, got off to an awful start, AC (3) falling to an terrible swipe at a straight one, his middle stump uprooted by Woakes. 13/1. Robbo (29) had looked in better form, but got a lifter from Rankin which he could only fend to Clarke at slip. 37/2 and things were looking very bleak indeed. Tea was taken at 48/2 and I immediately noticed something surprising. A few spectators were on the pitch! 

On Day 1, anyone daring to encroach on the playing area during intervals was threatened over the PA with draconian punishments bordering on eternal damnation. Now suddenly the condition of the (very dry) outfield had changed to being, er, maybe very very slightly drier, and we were actually being trusted to go and wander at will on the outfield as long as we didn't go on the square. I can only assume that on Day 1 they were worried that there might have been a few T20 fans left in the ground from the previous day, who had spent the night in the hedge separating the ground and Park Road in a lager-induced coma, and would run amok. By contrast anyone still present having sat through Bore-wickshire's first innings and made it as far as Day 3 must be a real cricket fan, and therefore trustworthy.

Anyway it gave me the opportunity to go and have a peek at the wicket. I noticed a couple of things. Firstly, Lower Pavilion's complaints about following through very close to the line of the stumps appeared from where I was standing to have some validity. The rough was very close to the line of the stumps. Secondly, even the slightest breath of wind was enough to whip up clouds of airborne dust from the foot holes. There is plenty of interest there for spinners, and we have two of them. We need to score enough runs to make that count of course.

The other thing that I noticed was the poor condition of the outfield. It looks OK from the boundary, but to walk on it is to encounter all manner of potholes and hidden hazards. Not surprising that the ball has bobbled so unpredictably. 

The final session started promisingly enough, but Dex (36) was caught behind off Barker quite out of the blue while I had gone behind the press tent to enquire on my mobile whether my old banger had made it through its MOT. 105/3. It was soon 110/4, as Joe Denly (37) followed, a victim of wild-swinging-at-straight-one syndrome, also losing his middle stump, this time to Barker. The good work had been undone and we were looking down the barrel again.

For a while it looked as if the day was going to finish as it started, with Voges and Simmo at the crease, but the synchronicity was destroyed just before stumps as Simmo (17) chased one from Rankin that left him and he was caught behind. TRJ came in as nightwatchman and stumps were drawn with Middlesex on 147/5, still trailing by 30. 

Prospects may look fairly grim, but this game is not over yet. Obviously Bore-wickshire are favourites, but I was present at Chester-le-Street last season when Durham turned an even more  apparently hopeless  situation around against us. Our attack may be depleted by injury but the pitch on the last day should offer plenty for our two frontline spinners. We just need to find another150+ runs from somewhere and it might not be easy for the Bores.