Middlesex CCC
Panthers Crush Bears 10-0
Don't Need a Weather Man
By Ruby
July 15 2009
Only on MTWD could you find such a match report. Middlesex came through the slightly shortened game with flying colours, so Middlesex fans can take solace in this top of the table clash which saw Middlesex riding high at the top of Pro40 Division 2 by the end of the day. What a fixture. What a season. Ruby tells us about all the action. And the cricket. Many thanks, Ruby.
On my way home tonight, I was in the grip of a faint dread. We were on television tonight, and I was writing half the match report. We never win when I write the match report. By five o'clock, I fully expected casa Ruby would be alive with the sound of misery. In the end, it was hardly worth hiding behind the sofa for. But gentle reader, I proceed too quickly. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.
When the teams were announced, I admit I was surprised to see Dawid opening. I am sure there is a sound tactical reason for this, but it is rather reminiscent of the period last season where everyone got a shot at opening, to see if anyone was any good at it. Sammy Robson Jr was in the team, and both Murtagh and Finn. Kartik wasn't, though. If he's injured, I missed out on that news. If he was dropped for team balance reasons, what does that say about the direction we'll take for our overseas player next year?
The Sky analysts all predicted a Warks win. With our form, you probably wouldn't back us to beat Willy Wonka and the Oompa Loompas at present, so we could hardly complain at this prediction.
Carter opened the bowling for Warks. I was desperately hoping Nick and Dawid would target him mercilessly so I could crack a joke about "get Carter", but it was not to be. Two balls in, and the heavens opened. This season, even God pities Middlesex.
At that point, a ten minute delay was estimated, and this forced the Sky guys to fall back on their diamond chat to keep us "entertained". I honestly don't know how some of that lot get paid. Paul Allott solemnly advised us all that "Someone has seen something in Rikki Clarke" - yes, a lucrative panto career playing Quasimodo. This was followed by a long discussion about how the young Warks boys need to learn from senior players. They should take a look at our experiment with a side free of senior players. By the end of the season, our boys will need to be holding a conch shell if they want to make a field change.
The umpires said they would take another look at 5.30. A big reduction in overs would make things a bit more like a T20 game. OH GOD THE HORROR. At this point, I started praying for sunshine.
This insightful chat was followed by some flannel about Flintoff being injured and Stephanie Harmison being recalled. I don't care, because Middlesex have far worse problems than this, and I support Australia anyhow. Bob Willis discussed how mince Broad is, and then there was some inexplicable talk about Bell being recalled to the Test side. Why would Ian Bell be recalled? If he was a horse, we would have shot him long ago. We may as well play Ramprakash if we want to play someone of weak mind and low average.
Then we were back on, for 34 overs a side. Can we bat that long? Carter bowled, a man so mediocre he didn't even good in this Middlesex side. Dawid took a boundary off him, and another of our old boys, Boyd Rankin, shared the new ball. Generally our old boys destroy us when they play against us; I was hoping this was not to be the case today.
The D/L calculation meant Warks would only have to chase whatever number of runs we actually set them. I looked for my natural optimism, but I must have lost it down the back of the sofa. At that point, we were taken off again for rain. This was thoroughly frustrating, not least because constant interruptions make it very difficult to set a total.
...and then my Sky died.
In a way, I was grateful; it saved me having to listen to any more of the Ashley Giles love-in. They should have shown highlights of last night's match. It was actually entertaining, and we could watch Joycey spectacularly showing us all what we're missing. Again. It's the cricketing equivalent of those Maury Povich episodes where models come on the show and taunt the people who turned them down in high school. It's good television, but it's also totally excruciating.
I chose to interpret my broken Sky as a sign from above. It was an omen, telling me I should not watch Middlesex. They bring only fleeting pleasure, and then regret, like cheap tequila. I have no idea what happened on the Sky coverage at this point, but it was probably more fawning over Giles, which makes me nauseous. All Virgin would tell me was "Your digital TV service will start shortly" in the same way in which la Sagrada Familia might be finished "shortly".
I decided to send for a pizza to pass the time.
By seven o'clock, my Sky was still broken, it was still raining, and my pizza still hadn't come. They must be building an ark down at Edgbaston by now.
Finally my pizza came, Sky showed a segment about Merrion CC (clearly we are not to be allowed to forget how Joycey broke our hearts and ran off to Sussex), and the match was abandoned. Well, at least we're sure of one point in the Pro40, eh?
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:07:20:05:18:33 by Ged.
What was the general gist of the interviews? Ruby, you're a star.
I missed the whole thing, so could someone please put us all out of our misery and let us know all about this vital best bit with Shaggy and Compo?
