By Dasher Denning
July 12 2011
Dasher Denning reports on an a very eventful 20/20 day. We hear about a not so accomodating welcome, some amusing aside comments and the twists and turns of a thrilling game. There are also some superb pictures courtesy of Hackneyshire and Beefy Roberts. Read on...
It’s never dull when I offer to write the match reports is it? Last time I donned the notebook Gloucestershire racked up a world record score at Uxbridge and this time I get to report on a last ball tie that looked all over at the end of the penultimate over.
The day started off with a meet up at Southgate, a tube station that is – according to the font that is Wikipedia – a Grade II listed building “built in the Art Deco/Streamline Moderne design style using brick, reinforced concrete and glass and is one of the best known of the many stations Charles Holden designed for London Underground”. It’s obviously not such a thing of beauty in the eyes of some of the residents of Southgate though given that one of the shops within the building has had to put up a notice on its front door asking people “please do not urinate in this doorway, you will be recorded by CCTV”. Anyway, we waited around for 15 minutes for a 299 bus to Ye Olde Cherry Tree/the local Travelodge, only to find that we could have walked it in that time.
It’s fair to say that the Cherry Tree has had one heck of a makeover since the last time I visited, though I can only presume that owners Vintage Inns forgot to tell their website copywriters where Southgate actually is and then didn’t proof read what had been produced before loading the following description onto their website: “Ye Olde Cherry Tree is a country pub & restaurant oozing rural charm and rustic character. Our picturesque surroundings provide the perfect backdrop for savouring the hearty, seasonal pub-food on our menu, and the carefully nurtured cask ales and fine wines gracing our bar”. Unfortunately, by 1pm the only thing gracing the bar was a host of punters waiting twenty minutes to get served as the manager had clearly underestimated the number of people wanting Sunday Lunch and/or refreshments prior to the cricket. One of our crowd made the mistake of asking said manager during this time if he’d wished he’d got a couple of extra staff in to cope with the numbers, at which point he apparently “went into a little bit of a mental breakdown”. This perhaps explained why all the chairs in the beer garden were tied to the floor with cable.
It’s fair to say that YOTC wasn’t the only place in Southgate to struggle with the numbers wanting to watch the cricket. The Walker Ground is a lovely venue, but I’m not sure that they were totally geared up for a Middlesex T20 fixture having been off the county’s fixture list for a couple of years. Thinking we’d better not leave it too late, we arrived at the ground at about 2pm but didn’t get in until about ten minutes before the off as they’d managed to run out of tickets at the gate nearest the Cherry Tree and had to radio over for some more before allowing anyone else in. By the time we got in the queue was snaking about 100 yards back down the Waterfall Road towards the pub. Luckily, one of our party was a Middlesex member so while we waited he got in the beer queue. The queues for that were almost as long as the queue to get in and he was just getting served as we got in, though the joy of having a cold beer waiting for us was more than a little tempered when it turned out it was cans of either John Smiths or Fosters. Luckily the Pavilion Bar had a better selection.
Anyway, we finally got in and I’m glad to say that reports of the demise of the Southgate CC Pavilion were premature (basically, I swear a Middlesex fan told me at Uxbridge that it had been demolished since the last time Middlesex played at Southgate, though no-one owned up to it). Mind you, if they do ever need it demolishing then they’d only need to have a word with the Bulgarian shot putter member of the Green Team who carried out what I can only describe as the most robust bag check I’ve ever been involved in. In a nutshell, the contents of my bag got thrown all over the table and each item was poked and prodded for the merest hint of alcohol before she moved swiftly onto the next customer/victim, leaving me to pick up and repack all of my strewn possessions. She’d obviously been successful in her approach though as the area underneath her table resembled the booze section of a Tesco superstore, including a bottle of Champers (well it is Middlesex after all).

Best beer selection here
Finding a spot in front of the Pavilion next to Vermin Corner II, the MTWD faithful were discussing the Gloucestershire T20 game at Uxbridge which I’d previously reported on. With Somerset having won the toss and deciding to bat on what looked to me like a very white wicket (apologies for a very untechnical term), the consensus was that Gloucestershire’s world record might be very short-lived, especially as Craig Kieswetter had managed to make it back from Old Trafford in time for the game. I knew this before it came across on the tannoy as I’d seen his delightfully personalised number plated black Range Rover (KIE 50) sat directly behind the Pavilion. Presumably the SatNavs of Middlesex’s ODI squad members – Messrs Finn and Morgan - had malfunctioned as they were nowhere to be seen. Neither was Andrew Strauss, presumably he didn’t want to upset his new employers.

Vermin Corner Flagging
It soon became apparent, however, that world records were not going to be on the cards on what both the BBC and Cricinfo (i.e., a Press Association man) described as a “sluggish wicket”. Admittedly, Somerset got off to a flying start, scoring about 20 off the first two overs, but a lot of the boundary shots were fortuitous in nature, with miscues going just wide of fielders. Such miscues eventually accounted for Somerset’s top three of Trescothick, Kieswetter and Trego, making a bit of a mockery of Lower Pavilion’s later assertion that “the difference is, when we mishit it in the air it goes straight to a fielder”. Anyway, the visitors struggled to gain any real momentum throughout their innings despite a stand of 47 by Hildreth and Trego. The fact that it took these two traditionally quick scorers nine overs to do this says a lot about the slowness of the pitch and the accuracy/mixing it up of Middlesex’s bowlers. In the end Somerset were indebted to a quickfire 33 off 18 balls by Pollard. He struggled with the pitch as well, but his mishits went for six rather than to a fielder. 143-6 was the final total.

Hit by a Pollard again
I can’t, of course, write a MTWD report without commenting on the fielding of a certain Scott Newman, who treated us to a variety of fumbles in front of the Pavilion. One MWTD regular noted the serious amount of strapping he had on his left hand when he appeared on the pitch, suggesting rather unkindly that he was “getting his excuses in first”. Another local and very vocal wag was even more cruel when he asked the man directly “which one’s your best hand? Oh, neither.” It should be said that the same boundary wag was also giving Pollard a bit of stick in the second innings but only, strangely, about a minute after Pollard had departed from his boundary fielding position.

Nothing wrong with fielding here Leave Him Alone!
So the break came and everyone took the opportunity to discuss whether the Somerset score was enough. Well, we did once we’d experienced the It’s A Knockout style journey from the Pavilion Bar back to our little terrace in front of the Pavilion. Somehow, for the first time in my living memory, a bar had managed to run out of plastic pint glasses so half of the 8 drinks ordered had to be ferried in half pint plastic cups past the people who’d kindly decided to stand on the steps having a conversation with their mates, thus completely blocking it. As someone remarked, “they were like Nazis at Uxbridge clearing people off the steps but it worked”. This wasn’t the first (or last) call of “Bring back Uxbridge” that I heard that afternoon.
Middlesex’s reply didn’t get off the best of starts, with Robson being caught behind by Kieswetter off the bowling of Gregory for three in the third over. This led one of my Somerset mates to remark that “this is all over”. Now I don’t want to say he’s a jinx but the last time he made such a confident comment about Somerset was a week or so earlier after we’d beaten Surrey at the Oval. “It showed the difference between First and Second Division cricket” was his assertion. The next night we lost to Gloucestershire. Enough said.
Needless to say, Middlesex added nearly fifty for the next wicket and were keeping up with the run rate. Scott Newman came in and played a lovely little innings which Lower Pavilion was positively salivating over while at the same time adding the caveat that he needed to make sure he didn’t lose concentration and chuck his wicket away as he apparently does quite a bit. To be fair to him, he didn’t do that and was well caught by Kartik out on the boundary for 33 off 29 balls.
Newman’s departure seemed to signal the slow decline of Middlesex, who kept losing wickets at regular intervals and slipped to 108-5 in the seventeenth over. With hindsight, though, one of the game changing moments came around this point when a Somerset fielder allowed what looked like a routine pick up out on the boundary to go through his legs for four. This was swiftly followed by a couple more fielding errors. Walking across the outfield at the end gave an insight into the difficulties of fielding – there was a lot of evidence of the impact of the rugby that gets played there during the winter - but the Middlesex fielders, Scott Newman apart, didn’t seem to have any problems with it. Whatever the reason, though, it let Middlesex back in.

Praying for divine intervention
And so it came down to Kieron Pollard’s last over. Eighteen to win. In the bag was the opinion of my two Somerset-supporting mates. I was in the minority saying “they could still do this”, remembering Ryan McClaren’s efforts in defeat at Chelmsford live on Sky the weekend before. Hackney Shire derided me for that viewpoint with a swift “no chance”. The first ball went for a couple, not ideal but not too damaging I thought, then McClaren went haywire, hitting successive sixes to take the hosts to needing only four off three balls. This and his earlier spell of 3-37 led one cynical member of Vermin Corner II to suggest that he was “obviously playing for a new deal”. However, Pollard’s next ball saw McLaren hole out on the midwicket boundary, leaving four needed off two balls to win. After a minor delay as Kieswetter pointed out to the umpire that the batsmen had crossed twice, meaning that new batsman Tom Smith should be facing rather than Davey, Pollard’s next ball went for two, leaving two required off the last ball. A scrambled single ensured a tie, leaving a clearly disgruntled Pollard to throw the ball into the pitch a couple of times to let off steam.
In the end it was hard to tell who was happiest. Middlesex fans seemed to be split between those who were happy with the draw after a poor T20 campaign and those who were rueing the fact that having got to four needed with half an over left they should have finished it off. Likewise, Somerset fans were disappointed to give 17 away off the last over but happy not to have lost it after McClaren’s final over assault.
And so off we headed for a final beer and to dissect the match. One quick look at the four deep queues at the bar in the Cherry Tree ensured that we did this in the local Café Rouge. The conclusions? Lovely ground, great company, exciting match, a few teething problems for Southgate. Oh, and the amazement at the differing number of things you can talk about even in the supposed hurly burly of a Twenty20 game. Topics we managed to cover included the Comptons’ ability to run people out being in the genes (Denis and Nick), potential trips to Chesterfield, Leeds United’s chances next season, Scott Newman, whether Finn and Morgan were stopped from playing by the ECB and – most importantly - whether the smoke from the barbeque on the far side of the ground denoted that Mike Brearley had been elected the next Pope.

Pope Smoke