MIDDLESEX TILL WE DIE

CRIC. LIT. QUIZ WITH PRIZE(S)

BY Ged Ladd (ably assisted by Salil from VTCB)

 

Following the phenomenal success of Barmy Kev’s Winter Warmer quiz, we thought we’d run one more quiz during the off-season.

 

The publishers, Orion, were so taken with my review of Morning Everyone by Simon Hughes, they have very kindly offered a copy of that superb book as a competition prize. 

 

As usual, there will also be an award for the most amusing answer to a question, so even if you can’t get many of the answers right, you might still be up for an award.  Honorable mention is guaranteed for several of the best spoof answers, but if one wag really is deemed to be exceptional, Ged might even conjure up another of his memorable small prizes.

 

In the time-honoured MTWD tradition, people who have claimed MTWD quiz prizes in the last year can gladly play for glory but will not be awarded the prize. 

 

We believe this quiz to be pretty difficult, so it should be worth having a go for the prize if you think you can score 50% or more of the points.  Indeed, it’s probably worth having a go anyway!!

 

Please e-mail your answers to gedladd@hotmail.co.uk

 

The closing date for competition entries is 15 March.

 

The answers, the prize winners and the publishable, humorous responses will be published on this site as soon after the closing date as possible.  Watch this space for further announcements.

 

Many thanks to Salil from VTCB for his quiz question contributions and also many thanks to Orion for offering the prize.

 

Good luck to you all.

 

SECTION A – BIOGRAPHY SECTION

 

A1/ In this autobiography, the author describes himself nearly getting arrested at the Oval for breaking into the ground at 6.00 a.m. ahead of a county match and nearly repeating the trick years later turning up for his first test match at 7.00 a.m. (Headingley).

a) Who is the author?

b) What is the title of the book?

(Two points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

 

A2/ This cricketer’s biography reports the subject and his son having to bail Ian Botham out of a Perth jail.

a)    Who is the cricketer?

b)    What is the title of the book?

(Two points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

 

A3/ This autobiography discusses the author’s early county circuit nickname, FEC, mistakenly assumed to mean “Future England Captain” by some.

a)    Who is the author/cricketer?

b)    What is the title of the book?

c)     What does he believe FEC really stood for?

(Three points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

c)

 

 

SECTION B – MIDDLE SECTION

 

Each question in this section comprises a short passage from a book (in italics) followed by a handful of piercing questions.

 

B1/ Everybody realises that ”I am a member of the M.C.C.C.” is a phrase in which “M.C.C.C.” the initials, are indistinguishable, after two gin and tonics, from “M.C.C.”.  And one really can go in on certain occasions (see printed instructions) to the pavilion itself.  In a sort of way, one has made it.  It’s good.  It’s worth it.  And members are not like Osbert Lancaster caricatures, not like the American view of cricket.  They are nice.  They are human.  They may even, at heart, be sensitive artists, introspects, fond of Bach.  Many have beards.” 

a)    Who wrote the above piece?

b)    What is the name of the piece?

c)     What is the name of the book in which it appeared?

(Three points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

c)

 

B2/ It’s not crucial to the captaincy that he got a first in classics and a two-one in moral sciences at Cambridge; indeed, it is more relevant that, while studying to that level, he continued to score more runs (4068) for that University than any other undergraduate.

a)    Who wrote the above piece?

b)    About whom is it written?

(Two points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

 

B3/ Cricket in India is a test of character as much as skill and England were failing at it.  They had trained hard for the tour in the sanitized surroundings of Lilleshall Sports Centre yet no amount of practice or physical jerks could prepare you for India’s idiosyncrasies. Off the field you were stared at as if you were a gargoyle with three heads.  On it you could get harassed and heckled and pelted with fruit.

a)    Who wrote the piece?

b)    In which book did this passage appear?

c)     Which England tour is he describing?

(Three points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

c)

 

B4/ “Both you and Robin should come up to the Mohali Stadium in the Punjab”, Mr Bindra added, “We’ll put you up, lay on net bowlers, sort out a gym and organize a bowling machine.  You must be bored of Bombay by now”.  “Excellent, that’s settled,” said Raj, “both you and Robin should come to my office in fifteen minutes”.  We did, and we agreed to the trip and flew the next day.  India is like that.  Where is the Punjab?

a)    Who wrote the piece?

b)    In which book did this passage appear?

c)     Who is Robin (clue: both barrels of the surname required to gain the point)?

(Three points)

d)    And yes, where is the Punjab? Draw a map.  (Only joking).

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

c)

 

SECTION C – FICTION SECTION

 

C1/ It is a fact not generally known that in her youth Queen Victoria had the makings of a cricketer of considerable stature. Indeed, it is the opinion of many historians of the ‘summer game’ that but for the cares of state and the burdens of excessive childbearing, she could well have reached Test match standard.  Contemporary records reveal that the young Victoria was endowed with an excess of the cricketing virtues – the athletic grace of a Frank Woolley, the snow-white teeth of a Learie Constantine, the combative pugnacity of a Freddie Trueman, the dark, hairy legs of a W.G.Grace.

a)    Who wrote the above piece?

b)    In which book did this story appear?

(Two points)

c)     And about whom is it written? (Only joking).

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

 

C2/ On Saturday morning, 4 August 1921, at a quarter-past five, Horace Cairie woke up and heard the rustle of wind in the trees outside his bedroom window.

a)    What is the name of the book in which the passage appears?

b)    What is the name of the author?

(Two points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

 

C3/ Many millions of years ago a race of hyperintelligent pan-dimensional beings (whose physical manifestation in their own pan-dimensional universe is not dissimilar to our own) got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life which used to interrupt their favourite pastime of Brockian Ultra Cricket (a curious game which involved suddenly hitting people for no readily apparent reason and then running away) that they decided to sit down and solve their problems once and for all.

a)    Who wrote the passage?

b)    In which book did this passage appear?

c)     State at least one of the Laws of Brockian Ultra Cricket?

(Three points)

 

ANSWER:

a)

b)

c)

 

Total score available: 25 points.

 

TIE BREAKER QUESTION: Name 10 books written by people who have played 1^st class cricket for Middlesex CCC.  No two books in this list may be written by the same author.  In the event of a tie, the best list of 10 books (in the judges’ absolute discretion) will win the prize.  We can also use the tie breaker submissions to start a discussion thread on “the best books written by Middlesex players”.

 

REMINDER:

 

Please e-mail your answers to gedladd@hotmail.co.uk

 

The closing date for competition entries is 15 March.

 

THAT’S ALL FOLKS – ONCE AGAIN, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR ENTRIES.