Sunny Days.

Ok maybe the headline is a bit far stretched, but the pagoda in Kew gardens next to Old Deer Park does give it an oriental feel.  Lovely location for cricket, scorching weather, just a shame we put in such an abject performance again.

The cattle truck journey on the 65 from Ealing Broadway was soon put behind me as that first pint of cold Reverend James hit the spot. A fine bitter brewed in Cardiff by Brains and well kept in the London Welsh pavilion. With my nerves settled and that warm feeling that wasn’t sweat for a change, I could feel the prose preparing to flow forth. The ground was filling well and the bouncy castle guys seemed to be doing a good trade on the rugby pitch, thank the Lord the Welsh had finished their season.

Hot, hot, hot.

The warnings were issued (with reference to the heat) about taking water (beer for me please) and using sun screen, plus where the first aid was, that would be the Ambulance with the huge sunshade in the windscreen then? Where did he get that, I can’t get one big enough for a Sprinter!

Big Andy and Brian are in , Andy is off the booze as he spent most of yesterday drowning out the thought that England were out of the World Cup. Chad Keegan I hope has been rested as he seems pretty chilled out in the pavilion for a guy about to play a 20/20 game, I really must get a scorecard before these events. [Editor’s note: had you got the scorecard you would have seen Chad’s name on it, but Rymps was switched in, for all the good it did us or Rymps or Chad]

Tossers.

For the first time in ages it seems we had won the toss and elected to bat! Ace and Smithy enter to “We will rock you” by Queen. [Editor’s note: I always thought that song should have been recorded as “We shall rock you” for the English audience.]  Well I hope you will guys but in some ways I feel Freddie Mercury has more chance than these two. I have written a few notes about the performance of our batsmen but as they really couldn’t be bothered to perform I can’t be asked to type them up. To sum up in a few sentences instead, too many caught behinds, M J Prior was putting in for a bonus the amount of work he had to do.  A lack of respect for the likes of Mushtaq is always going to cost you as a side and Paul Weekes is not a 20 year old anymore, he turns more like an elegant ocean liner than a yacht so that run out was always on from the time the “yes,no,yes,no”,routine started.  [Editor’s note: It was worse than that – he got beyond the line easily but his bat was in the air – a twenty-year-old’s error one might say.] 

High points of the innings, the adverts under the press tent being booted down as they were glaring the batsmen, well done the Press for helping out with this essential task. The lass who, while carrying three pints of lager down the pavilion steps, managed not to spill a drop; game on girl! The chav Sussex supporter who had pitched a tent by the pavilion for her squawking kid and as somewhere to make loud phone calls on her mobile from, nice one Mrs, now you can see why I hate 20/20 soooo much.

Shot of our innings has to be Morgan’s despatch of Yardy for 6 into the road .

Other than that too few good shots and far to many silly out shots personified by Morgan's spooned catch to Prior  To the lads credit he came off shaking his head as if to say “what a Muppet, what did I play that shot for” till then he had looked good . Too many others just holed out as though they really didn’t want to be there.

Half Time.

Big Andy is not impressed with the performance, indeed most of what he said I couldn’t print here under the rules of the Obscene Publications Act! [Editor’s note: e-mail the comments to me, Diamond, I could do with a laugh to cheer myself up!!]  Eric is looking stressed in the shop/marquee cooking his bits off to sell some gear. A word of warning; do not apply spray sunscreen to a cut as it stings like hell, been there done that, felt the burn!  Time for some comfort eating. The pasty and chips from the canteen by the pavilion was superb and fairly priced which made a nice change; went down very nicely with an even colder pint of the Rev James ale.

[Editor’s note: the hog roast from the barbeque was well tasty and again very keenly priced – hats off to those caterers and management should note that it is those features that get the Daisy’s of this world to the grounds, not the cricket, indeed certainly not the cricket this season] 

[Further Editor’s note: during the interval we thought we spied Scott Styris atop the scaffolding.  Some wags suggested that he was going to jump, although I’m sure whoever it was, and it did look like Scotty Styris, was taking some photographs.  If anyone has some intelligence on this matter please place it on the message board]

Second Half.

The best bit of the second half was when the Chav/Pikey Sussex fans removed their portable home from in front of the pavilion. It was down and gone in 5 mininutes, a real military operation, they must “pitch up” at a few 20/20 games.

Apart from “5 catches Prior” being trapped lbw by Silvers for19 there was little the bowlers could do to protect the poor 108 all out they had made. The likes of Goodwin are not going to let that type of chance slip by without taking full advantage of the situation. His 67 not out was not a master class, he just put away the bad balls, of which there were too many .The end being neigh I saw the last runs scored from the 65 bus stop outside the ground.

[Editor’s note: Daisy and I stuck it out for 60 balls and therefore only missed 14 balls]

Down and Out.

For Old Deer Park read Oh Dear Park, what a sorry shambles that was today. No spirit, no signs of any ambition. Bowlers who have no idea, no use of a batsman/bowler aka Ace for a couple of overs to even try to slow the rate, just nothing. Louw looked so out of place it was unreal; a spell in the seconds might remind him what he is at the club to do. Only two batsmen got into the twenties and neither went on, it is no wonder we lost big time. My next report will be from Southgate, I know we have got Beckenham, Chelmsford and the Hovel in between but I have got more to do with my time than follow this bunch of losers around the south when I am on holiday. I work hard at my job to earn my time off, maybe it’s time some of these guys took a look at how well they are performing? If I were as bad as they were today I’d be down the DSS on Monday not on holiday as my boss would have fired me for incompetence.